The Simpsons: The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer (season premiere)
(S18E01) When Bart refuses to let Lisa sit with him on the bus, she tries to complain to Otto, but he'd rather rock out to his Grand Funk Railroad tape than bother with her. She tries to get his attention but manages to break his tape in the process, leaving him with no musical options except the kids' rendition of "Old MacDonald Had a Fart" and whatever crap his bus radio is spewing out. At that moment, he sees Metallica's tour bus stranded on the side of the road, but they opt to get a lift from Moleman, who once slept with Lars' grandmother. Oh yeah, and Bart steals the bus.
Enraged, Otto encounters Bart outside the school and spanks him. The corporal punishment is witnessed by Skinner, who instructs Otto to turn in his beaded seat cushion and gun. Until Otto is reinstated, the kids will have to rely on car pooling to get to school. On the first day, Marge takes Bart, Lisa and their friends, including Fat Tony's son, Michael. Since he's the son of a mob boss, everyone is afraid of Michael and wants nothing to do with him, but Lisa sees he's not the hardboiled criminal his father is and befriends him. Michael reveals he wants to be a chef, which upsets his father who wants him to take over the family business.
When Fat Tony is hospitalized after a near fatal hit, Homer takes over for him, confident he can handle the pressure of being a mobster after seeing the "greatest gangster film ever: Shark Tale." He decides to lean on Moe first, alternating back and forth between mobster Homer and regular Homer:
Homer: All right, tap jockey, you owe Fat Tony fifty bucks! Cough it up!
Moe: Look, mister, I don't got the cash, My clientele, they're all bums. They never pay.
Homer (grabs Moe): Just get the money!
Moe (grabs Homer): Homer, the mob is puttin' the screws on me, see? I ain't gettin' killed cause you won't pay your tab! Now give me fifty bucks!
Homer: Take it, take it! Just don't hurt me! (He grabs Moe again): Okay, pretty boy, where's Fat Tony's fifty bucks?
Moe: Look, all I have is twenty-five. I swear, I swear!
Homer: It'll do for now!
Michael becomes concerned that Homer and Bart are starting to enjoy their new "occupation" a little too much, and to set things right he prepares a dinner for his father's enemies in order to make peace:
Michael: My friends, I surrender. I'm handing over over all my father's territory in exchange for the safety of my family and the Simpsons.
Mobster: Sorry, we can only guarantee we won't hurt them.
Mobster 2: Yeah, you know, they still gotta eat right and exercise.
Mobster 3: Walk the dog once in awhile. He's a furry little fitness machine.
As it turns out, the meatballs Michael served them contained poison. Did he kill them on purpose? More importantly, will we ever hear from Fat Tony's son again, or will he forever disappear like Reverend Lovejoy's daughter? I'm guessing the latter.
Moments I liked:
- Nelson chucking a rock at a squirrel and coming to the conclusion that squirrels don't like rocks
- Fat Tont using a Garfield three-ring binder to flatten the tires of a pursuing vehicle
- Homer fantasizing about "taking a dirt nap," which to him means simply sleeping with your head in the ground
- Bart loading the cat into his slingshot and aiming it at Flanders