Family Guy: Stewie Loves Lois (season premiere)
Peter schemes to get a flu shot even though there is a room full of elderly people that need them. He also drops a reference to Frampton Comes Alive, which was indeed a monster. See, retro. After the shot, the Dr. Hartman notices that Peter hasn't yet had a prostate exam. Peter flashes back to a college exam and it ends with him running out of the building to Kenny Loggins' I'm Free from the Footloose soundtrack. Not knowing what a prostate exam is, Peter freaks out and runs home naked, crying all the way. Peter thinks he's been raped and goes off the deep end. So much so that he is sleeping with a pillow strapped over his butt.
In the other storyline for the episode, a dog runs off with Rupert while Stewie is playing in the sandbox, pondering ways to take Lois out. "You want some of this, Maury Po-Bitch?" Lois saves Rupert which prompts Stewie to flash to a very creepy scene with Stewart and Rupert, as a bear head on a chiseled mans body, frolicking on the beach. Back home, Lois has fixed Rupert, and that earns Stewie's undying love and devotion.
Down at the Clam, it turns out that Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe have also "felt the cold finger of injustice" on their "insidey parts." Peter vows to get revenge, using about six different references to ass. Back home Peter makes a reference to the folks you meet "in those Louisiana swamps", which isn't really funny, but does feature Kermit, so it fits with the retro gag theme.
Lois is reveling in the lovey Stewie attention. Stewie even compliments her sense of humor. "It is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious. You're like a female Bonny Hunt." Then while arguing with Brian he slips into speaking spanish. Apparently because he fell asleep watching Sabado Gigante. The new Stewie starts to wear a little thin with Lois. She goes to bed and on the TV we have Native American What's Happening.
At the courthouse Peter relates the story of Dr. Hartman violating him, complete with creepy black and white flashbacks. The judge thinks back to his exam and remembers it as taking place on a pirate ship where Dr. Hartman attacks him, so he sides with Peter and Hartman loses his license.
Lois begins to dream about putting Stewie in the washing machine and slamming his head to kill him. "I'm like that Texas woman who gave her son brain damage by holding him under water... I'm just like Barbara Bush!" Stewie comes in and tells Lois that he won them Eddie Money tickets, which prompts Brian to make a Sulu reference.
Unfortunately for Peter, his frequent urination suggests he might actually have a prostate problem. And no doctor will see him. Not even Star Trek's Dr. McCoy. And as he is bent over in front of McCoy, Sulu walks by "Hellooooo". Lois decides to put her foot down and just ignore Stewie, even when he complains that he is dying, "What is this, a Tommy Lee pool party?" When he falls down the stairs she scoops him up and promises to never ignore him again, but Stewie is having none of it. Evil Stewie is back.
Peter goes to see Dr. Hartman, to get him to look at his prostate. He gets the exam and decides that it's just an infection, and a blockage of some sort. "What the devil is that?" And then we hear Sulu again, "Helloooo." And we close up the night with the Family Guy version of the All In The Family closing credits, to tie up our retro theme. Not the best episode of Family Guy ever, but a solid start to the season.