Celebrity Duets: 5 Cut to 3
I haven't reviewed the Celebrity Duets live results show, but I decided that I should this week because the three finalists would be picked. Well, it's good that I did because I got to see the elimination of Cheech Marin (big surprise) and . . . Jai Rodriguez?
What? The? Hell?
Yes, you are reading this right. Jai Rodriguez, who was a front runner since the beginning of the competition a few weeks ago, was eliminated this week over, ready, Lucy Lawless! Okay, Lucy is a decent singer, but Jai was head-and-shoulders above her and I thought he would be in the finals along with Alfonso Ribeiro, who you knew was going to make it after his very first duet. I guess, like in all other Simon Cowell produced shows, the fix was in. Although, in the show's defense, Lucy looked absolutely shocked that she was in the finals. I believe that she was mouthing something like 'Are you sure you didn't make a mistake?'.
So, it's Alfonso, Lucy, and Hal Sparks in the final three. If Hal expects to win he better stop screaming and actually start singing. The second duet that he performed with Dee Snider was plenty of shouting without hitting a note. The judges aren't going to look kindly to that. Time to team him up with someone who is totally his opposite, maybe Willie Nelson or Roy Clark.
Lucy has got to improve as well, but I'm not too sure where. I watched both duets she did with Richard Marx (who, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated singer/songwriters of the 1980's) and she just wasn't matching him. She either needs to be paired with another female, or someone who sings within her range. And, she should also cut off all of her hair, remove all of her makeup, wear a potato sack and slouch down a few inches, so all of the drooling men watching Celebrity Duets don't jam the phone lines to vote for her.
As for Alfonso, well, he damn well better win. I want to see the 'Carlton Dance'! You know, come to think of it, I wouldn't be shocked at all if Alfonso was paired with Tom Jones next week for a rendition of It's Not Unusual. If they sang that I'd vote for him in one second.
Place your bets and see you next week.