The Daily Show: September 27, 2006

Jon briefly touched on the heightened security of the other night's episode (bulletproof glass and snipers and all that jazz). "If you're ever in this situation and they bring the bomb-sniffing dogs in, please know -- and I know this now for a fact -- they do not, in anyway, recognize drugs or porn... Not that we weren't scrambling!"

The latest edition of Newsweek features a cover story called "Losing Afghanistan"... well, editions from the rest of the world, anyway. The American version decided to run a story about Annie Leibovitz, a very popular celeb photographer. Jon poked fun at the fact that the article skirted around the word "lesbian" when talking about Leibovitz's long-time lover. Get over it, Newsweek. So what if the ladies have common interests ("photography, literature, each other's vaginas")?

Ohh, I saw these ads the other day... CNN's been running spots to promote their new I-Report thing, where people can go online and submit their home-made videos or pictures of breaking news. They don't get anything except the chance to say, "I-Report for CNN!" (actually, I'm pretty sure I-Reporters get a free t-shirt but... whatever). I liked Jon's little dream sequence set to "Simply the Best", but the big bloke's "I-Report for CNN! My balls are on Wolf Blitzer's head!" took the cake.

"UnMeet the Press": Stop bothering the VP. Dick Cheney hasn't read the article, hasn't seen the ad, hasn't heard anything beyond the headline, hasn't learned to read. He obviously isn't going to say dick (ha, get it?).

"Poll-Smoking": Dave Gorman returned to talk about the confusing statistics the various news channels have been spitting, saying that the Democrats are clearly in the lead/Republicans are in the lead/Democrats and Republicans are neck and neck. I desperately want to like Gorman, but he still sounds a bit awkward. And how many times are they going to make fun of the segment name? Goodness.

The night's guest was Al Franken, whose book, The Truth (with jokes), is now in paperback. Most of the interview was about the possibility of Franken running for office. Franken said that he still isn't sure, but he's taken the first few steps just in case he decides that he will run in the future. Smart man. Jon also offered a bit of campaigning advice to Franken. Fun Fact: A sure-fire way to get votes is to call at least one person in a crowd "macaca". "Seat of Heat": Fill in the blank... "Pundit-comedians should not run for office because ____". Franken responded with "The public would be subjected to his past jokes... misinterpreted by jerky Republicans." WRONG. The correct answer was actually "Pundit-comedians should not run for office because they're fucking crazy."

Jon/Stephen: Heh, I liked this. Stephen Colbert scolded Jon for spelling The Colbert Report with a hard "T" instead of a silent one.

Jon: It's spelled the same way!
Stephen: Not out loud!

Moment of Zen: Computer-generated demonstrations of various torture techniques. It was like a mild version of the way I play with my Sims.