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And I Quote: The best lines of the week

by Keith McDuffee, posted Oct 13th 2006 4:20PM

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

"Somewhere in a parallel universe bizarro-Dick is being a total killjoy." -- Dick Casablancas to Veronica Mars, when she tells him she's rushing a sorority, on Veronica Mars.
"When I was 23, I had a paper route." -- David Letterman, about Nikki Hilton opening up her own hotel.
"This is macaroni and cheese. It's what American's eat when they want to commit suicide slowly." -- Eden on Heroes.
"In the end, when everyone else in this unit is buried and be-shitted, this Detective Sargent will still be standing." -- Sgt Landsman explaining CYA to Kima Greggs on The Wire.
"What? Haven't you ever seen a smoking dwarf before?" -- Attorney Bethany Horowitz on Boston Legal.

"I done kicked my dog and shot my TV" -- An angry southern woman calling in to Speed's Windtunnel on her reaction to Dale Earnhardt Jr. getting wrecked on the last lap.
"Oh yeah. We should definitely go check that out in a really dark wood." -- Jimmy, when Chloe suggests they run toward the sound of a bloodcurdling scream on Smallville.
"This is Malibu people. Even the nannies drive black BMW's." -- Sebastian Stark on Shark.
"How ya doin' Gordy? Have to tinkle yet?" -- Dean, to a tied up Gordon on Supernatural
Betty: "You're the one who dumped me for Gina."
Walter: "For just two days. I mean, it takes longer than that to digest corn." -- Ugly Betty
Dr. Venture: "I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot."
The Monarch: "Are you reciting "Jesse's Girl?"" -- Dr. Venture and The Monarch watching The Monarch's fiance, Dr. Girlfriend, walk down the wedding aisle, on Venture Brothers.
"Her ass looks better than my face." -- bar babe to Robin and Lilly, about another bar babe that "Ted Mosby, Architect" left with on How I Met Your Mother.