The Daily Show: October 17, 2006

"Star Mitzvahs": Nicole Kidman's the UN's new Goodwill Ambassador? Wow. Oprah and Bono, on the other hand, are doing their work through GAP shirts "which, if washed in the wrong load, will bleed philanthropy into your whites". Madonna has been spreading her own brand of love by dancing on African ground and swiping African babies.

Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore (he's alive!) had some interesting information regarding the recent celeb trend of adopting African babies... They're cheap to take care of! We all know they can be fed with only 12 cents a day (that's less than a McGriddle). Orphan outsourcing is the future! By the way, I'm totally loving the Seventh Seal meets Cool Runnings idea. DO IT. Wilmore is doing okay. I'd like to see him have a specific "character" down, though.

"10 Fucking Years -- Presidents": Holy crap, Craig Kilborn! And Jon without gray hair! It really has been ten fucking years. Anyway, in the past decade, The Daily Show has mentioned every single president except Zachary Taylor (what poor soul had to sift through the video archives, listening for every mention of US presidents?). So, Jon decided to end that... "Why did Zachary Taylor arrive at his 1848 Presidential nomination convention wearing a Marie Antoinette headpiece? He heard he was nominated by the 'Wig' Party!" OH SNAP!

The night's guest was Amy Sedaris, talk show favorite and author of I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. Gosh, even Sedaris' book has an extended title. She was adorable, as usual. Damn, I hate that woman. Why must you be so perfect, Sedaris?! "Seat of Heat": Jon, bringing up the next evening's guest, John Ashcroft, asked... "Any hospitality tips for someone who doesn't drink... or dance... or smile?" "Don't invite him!" Amy answered. Of course, the audience exploded into applause, thinking it was a jab at Ashcroft and not general party-poopers.

Jon/Stephen: Happy anniversary, Colbert Report! Oh, and Stephen Colbert hates Zachary Taylor. Moment of Zen: Mother loves to clean and cook and gyrate in a pointy bra.