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September 14, 2014

Press Kits Unwrapped: The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror XVII

by Adam Finley, posted Oct 25th 2006 8:02PM

Press kit open

A note to the people who put together these press kits: if you want to woo me, fill the kit with lots and lots of candy. I don't care if it has anything to do with the television program you're promoting or not. I want lots of damn chocolate, and I want it now. As you can see in the picture above, this press kit for the upcoming "Treehouse of Horror" episode of The Simpsons was stuffed with mini candy bars, Blow Pops and peanuts, all of which I scarfed down fairly quickly, growling under my breath like a starving dog protecting his food bowl.

The candy and other items came in this lovely little coffin-shaped box, made from sturdy cardboard:

Since I couldn't bring myself to throw away such a lovely item, I figured the best thing to do was put the coffin to good use, so I did what anyone would have done in my situation and made plans to kill a squirrel and bury it inside the coffin. I placed a potato next to my doorway and waited patiently:

Some might think that acorns or some kind of grain would be better bait for a squirrel, but squirrels are extremely smart, and they'd be expecting acorns. Knowing this, I posted signs around my neighborhood reading, "Tired of acorns? Free potato!" with arrows leading to my apartment. I remained motionless as I waited for a squirrel to arrive, knowing that a squirrel's vision is based on movement because they evolved from the Tyrannosaurus Rex:

Anyway, no luck just yet. I may actually cook the potato and see if that's more enticing. At least the kit came with an advanced copy of the episode and an awesome Uno game with all the Simpsons characters printed on the cards. If a squirrel does show up I may forgo killing it and invite it to play Uno instead, just as long as it doesn't steal any of my chocolate.

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Adam Finley

The studios wouldn't look too kindly on us if we gave away our advanced copies. :)

October 26 2006 at 7:20 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tweaq

DAMN YOU ADAM. Why do you get press kits? JUST because you have the most popular TV blog, means you get press kits? NO! THATS BULL CRAP.
You guys should really have an easy contest and give some of those away. I mean the stuff you didn't eat or keep. I would be happy with just the coffin, and maybe even the dvd (I assume its the episode)

October 26 2006 at 3:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
name

I lol'd. Needs more lol accolades.

October 26 2006 at 1:30 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tucker

Jamus - it's called "The World Series." It sucks, but that's just the way Fox has done it since as far back as I can recall.

And Adam.... how hard did you hit the crack pipe tonight? Now where are those acorns...

October 25 2006 at 11:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Dave Caolo

Jamus: The delay is because of baseball every year.

October 25 2006 at 11:43 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jamus

Why is it so hard to step up to the plate and actually put a HALLOWEEN episode on in time for HALLOWEEN?!? What is it now 5 yrs? 6?

I just pretend it is getting a head start on next year and grin and bear it.

October 25 2006 at 10:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Dave Caolo

I will do anything for that kit.

October 25 2006 at 9:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Destin

That is SWEET.

Candy, UNO and a new episode of the Simpsons. What more could you want?

October 25 2006 at 8:49 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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