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October 8, 2015

I Pity The Fool: Leadership

by Kevin Kelly, posted Oct 27th 2006 9:32PM
(S01E03) First name Mr., last name T is back in his red jumpsuit and brings his Ah-T-tude to the airwaves. As usual, he gets a letter from a poor hapless soul.

"Deyah Mistah Tee, my name is Kristin, and I work at Metrostar Realty heeyah in Brookyln, New Yawk. I love real estate, and I love my job, but we got issues."

Boy, do they. Based on the first five minutes the cameras are in this office, you'd want to jump out one of the windows. It looks more like an episode of The Real World than a real estate office. Everyone is at each other's throats. Gene, the owner of the business is never at the office, and when he's gone the office goes nuts. He's a weak leader with a head of curly hair that would make Art Garfunkel jealous.

T decides to take Gene and staff out into the boonies, where he straps on a camouflage outfit and a Smokey the Bear hat. Oh, and combat boots. The first challenge is, "The Gold Statue Challenge on the Cargo Net of Death," which is suspended about ten inches above the ground. Scary! Gene has to show some mad leadership skills, which he apparently doesn't.

T takes Gene aside, and gives him some pointers, which consists of T saying "LEAD! LEAD! LEAD!" So, they somehow get through the challenge, and now Gene is superboss. I'm still really unclear on how this works. T yells at someone in each episode, suddenly the triumphant music starts, and TA-DAH all the work is done.

So now Supergene fires his troops up for an open house, cleaning up (one of the ladies even vacuums in high heels), painting, throwing trash out, and bustling around in white jumpsuits. They sell the house (if the guy gets an okay from his wife), and T takes everyone into the wrapup to see if the leadership will stick. One of the men tells T, "When I heard you were coming, the first thing I thought was this guy is mean, ornery, you know jibba jibba - a typical celebrity." Wha? I can't believe T didn't issue some smackdown to him for thinking other celebrities have the right to use jibba jabba.

So, T feels the love, everyone thanks him, and he heads back out to the T warehouse that he seems to use as his headquarters. If T really is this effective, he needs to start pimping himself out on the therapy circuit. Who wouldn't want to fix it all, T-style, in 30 minutes or less?

Some T-isms from tonight's episode:
  • "It's a good thing they wrote to me instead of Dear Abby!"
  • "I had to get over there and get them up to code ... the T code!"
  • "You know what they say there's no I in team ... but there's a T in team!" *and then he giggles like a schoolgirl*
  • "Never trust a guy in sunglasses. You hide the eyes, you hide the lies."
  • "Some are born to lead. Some are born to follow. And these folks were born to make me mad."
Next up: T takes on some line dancers. We can't wait for that one. "Do not break my achy break heart, fools!"

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