The Five: Reasons I'll miss Bob Barker
News of Bob Barker's departure from The Price is Right at the end of this season may have come as a surprise to you because A) you weren't aware that he was still alive and B) you haven't watched The Price is Right since the late 70s when Barker's Beauties still included the redhead Holly.I knew Barker was still alive and kicking, and his Dick Clark-like ability to age more slowly than the rest of us mortals didn't surprise me. But none of that meant that hearing news of his departure didn't send me on crazy trip down memory lane.
So in tribute to Barker, here are five nostalgic bits of Price is Right goodness that I'll miss:
5. Barker's Beauties. They won't be "Barker's" anything any more, will they? Just lowly spokesmodels, aiming for Vanna's solo gig. I still haven't gotten over the replacement of Janice, Diane and Holly in the early 90s.
4. Bob's comedic fear of Samoan Ladies. For some unknown reason, there was a strange running gag in the late 70s and early 80s that whenever an exceptionally large person of Samoan descent would win something, Bob would receive this ecstatic bear hug in which he'd get raised three feet off the ground. Seemed a little offensive even then, but hey, that's Bob -- the timid recipient of our consumer love.
3. His animal-friendly sign-off. How will any of us remember to get our pets spayed and neutered?
2. The good games. I haven't watched The Price is Right in years, but I can only imagine that Bob's departure will bring significant change to the show. What is to become of Plinko? Punch-Out? The one where the little yodeler slides down the mountain whenever you can't guess the price of Rice-A-Roni within fifty cents? Heck, for all I know, what has become of them? Remember the good old days, Bob?
1. The hundred dollar pocket. I always found the hundred dollar pocket mildly perverted. Even as a child I found there to be something slightly sinister about a man who asked young women to reach into his pocket for a special treat. Turns out that if you guessed a product's price right on the nose and got selected as a contestant, you could take your place next to Bob, reach inside and find out that he was, in fact, happy to see you.

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