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October 4, 2015

Aaron Sorkin visits the Dental Hygienist

by Julia Ward, posted Nov 3rd 2006 6:28PM
Aaron SorkinYou can always count on McSweeney's to bring the verbose, witty goods.

In the past few weeks, we've had "Johnny Knoxville's Letters to His Brother" and "Ten Reasons Why You, Audrey Tautou, Gamine French Star of Amelie, Should Date Me, Teddy Wayne." Yesterday brought a real gem, however, in the form of "Aaron Sorkin Visits a Dental Hygienist."

Giving Ken Levine's "If Aaron Sorkin wrote a show about baseball..." post a run for its money, author Jack Pendarvis unpacks the Sorkin banter tactics with an extended Poulenc reference. A sample exchange:

AARON SORKIN: You know what's weird about Poulenc? It sounds like you're pronouncing him wrong, even when you're doing it right. It's the "ank" sound, as in "Paul Anka." I guess you've never heard of Paul Anka, either.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: Can you open wide for me, please?

AARON SORKIN: You would think it would be the "ankh" sound, as in the ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life. But it's not. It's the Paul Anka sound. You know, it would help if you said certain words back to me, just random sentences that use the same key words I'm using.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: I have a lot of other patients who need their teeth cleaned, so ...

AARON SORKIN: Like I say, "Les Six," and you say, "Les Shut Up!" Something like that. I don't know. That's just off the top of my head. It doesn't have to make sense. It just has to sound like banter. It has to give a banterlike impression. Hey, that's a good example. I could say, "It just has to sound like banter," and then you shoot back, real quick-like, "Oh, it has to give a banterlike impression." We just say the same words back to one another over and over in different random orders.

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THEN Sorkin could write the Pendarvis piece into a Studio 60 episode, one of the sketches perhaps..."The Hygienist and the Self-reflexive witty studio writer"

November 03 2006 at 9:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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