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Desperate Housewives: Children and Art
by Jen Creer, posted Nov 12th 2006 11:55PM
(S03E08) You know, right up to the end of this episode I thought there were some funny moments, and it was entertaining. However, it seemed clearly to be just a hamster-on-a-treadmill kind of episode, just providing a denouement after the high drama of last week. But, oh, how I was wrong.First things first. Clearly, the witty bits about Mrs. McCluskey at the beginning of the episode were foreshadowing. Talk about a meddling neighbor; it's one thing to take down somebody's Christmas lights, but if I got somebody's cat neutered, it would start being my cat from the first ship. But clearly, Mrs. McCluskey has access to Mike's garage, so that is our first clue that when the police search Mike's house for the pipe wrench that killed Monique, they aren't going to find anything. And Mrs. McCluskey does love to blackmail people.
The question is: will she tell anybody about the dirty wrench she found? Nice bit of tension there. And what will be more dramatic? When she shows Mike the pictures of him and Susan that Edie cleared out, or when she tells someone about the toolbox?
Big big big to-do's about Lynette being grateful to new neighbor Art (who supposedly has a sister in a wheelchair who lives with him. Um, do you suppose that is a lie?). She goes so far as to have Art pretend to be a superhero. And boy, who would suspect that mild-mannered Art would be capable of saving someone's life with ice cream, let alone be Protector Man in disguise? Unfortunately, Lynette seems to have just handed Art a free pass to get more kids down to his creepy basement so he can take naked pictures of them. And she successfully created a world in which her kids view Art as irretrievably cool. I love the metaphor here about surfaces being deceptive until you get you get to know someone's depths (depth = basement, get it?).
Boring Susan confrontations with Julie-- was the whole point of that Hysterical Mom moment that Karl found out about Ian? Whatever. Julie and Austin are dating. Didn't see that coming, did you? Kidding! Blah blah blah, teen sex is only interesting if somebody gets knocked up or a disease.
One of our commenters said a few weeks ago that it seems so cllear that Mike wants off this show because the actor is so freaking wooden and poker-faced. Amen. Geez, the guy was in a coma; he didn't have so much plastic surgery that he can't move his face!
Speaking of plastic surgery, Gaby contacted her former agent and announced her return to the world of modeling. How does someone who did 36 magazine covers before she was 20 fail to realize that at age 30, she is washed up? But Gaby isn't always in touch with reality, now is she?
Finally, we see a darker side of Orson starting to emerge. He has stuffed his evil evil mother into a nursing home, and Bree, God Bless her everloving heart, decides to move Gloria Hodge in with them for a few weeks. Dixie Carter, formerly of Designing Women, (who recently spoke frankly on some entertainment show about her own many plastic surgeries) plays Orson's mother. She gets off a few great zingers like, "I should have smothered you in your crib when I had the chance." and "I gave you life. You know I won't hesitate to take it away."
But , as always, Andrew gets the best line and best delivery of the episode with, "So. Can we call her Grandma?"
Awesome. Finally, things are starting to heat up under Orson's feet so we will get to watch him dance.
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