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October 24, 2014

Affiliates say "no way" to OJ

by Adam Finley, posted Nov 20th 2006 1:03PM

oj simpsonYay! My first rhyming headline! Allow me to skip around clapping my hands like a little girl while twirling a parasol behind my back. Actually, that would be impossible, I'd need like four hands to accomplish that.

Come to think of it, maybe that's the key component of OJ's upcoming book, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened: that he could only have committed the murders if he had four arms. Not that anyone who watches the nine FOX affiliates run by Lin Broadcasting and Pappas Broadcasting will ever know, because they've decided not to run the two-part interview scheduled for November 27 and 29.

"But Adam," you might say, "everyone has forearms."

And I would reply, "stop having someone else read this post to you, it'll help avoid such homophonic confusion."

Anyway, this is all irrelevant because like many of you, I'm not going to watch the interview. Sure, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little morbidly curious, but regardless of what OJ actually did or didn't do, the idea of writing a book that details how you would have committed the murder of a loved one is a little too macabre for my tastes. Instead of listening to OJ's quasi-confession, I'm going to turn off the TV and curl up with a copy of the Necronomicon.

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Joey Geraci

It's more like, if even Bill O'Reilly can't come up with a justification for something, you know it must be the lowest filth known to man. O'Reilly's rationalizations were interesting though, as he pretended that Fox News and Fox Broadcasting had nothing to do with each other.

November 20 2006 at 5:18 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Whoosh

homophonic:
a gay guy with rhythm

November 20 2006 at 3:42 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
NavStar

When Bill O'Reilly calls his own network 'vile', you know this junk is not worth watching. *IF* he did it? He DID do it! He was just found 'not guilty'.

November 20 2006 at 3:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Nathan

I was actually going to Tivo this...I can't say for sure if I was going to watch it. Well damn anyway.

November 20 2006 at 2:28 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
erroneous_nick

I honestly cannot believe that this is your first rhyming headline. It just can't be.

November 20 2006 at 1:51 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
LifeInTheOffice.com

I don't really care about OJ, but I felt obliged to comment about your forearm joke. That was funny stuff.

November 20 2006 at 1:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Suzie

I wish we had more respect for the words "writing" and "book".

November 20 2006 at 1:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Sean P. Aune

Normally I am against censorship, but this is one time I have to ask what the network was even thinking when they came up with this concept. Just makes no sense to me on any level.

November 20 2006 at 1:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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