Yay! My first rhyming headline! Allow me to skip around clapping my hands like a little girl while twirling a parasol behind my back. Actually, that would be impossible, I'd need like four hands to accomplish that.

Come to think of it, maybe that's the key component of OJ's upcoming book, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened: that he could only have committed the murders if he had four arms. Not that anyone who watches the nine FOX affiliates run by Lin Broadcasting and Pappas Broadcasting will ever know, because they've decided not to run the two-part interview scheduled for November 27 and 29.

"But Adam," you might say, "everyone has forearms."

And I would reply, "stop having someone else read this post to you, it'll help avoid such homophonic confusion."

Anyway, this is all irrelevant because like many of you, I'm not going to watch the interview. Sure, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little morbidly curious, but regardless of what OJ actually did or didn't do, the idea of writing a book that details how you would have committed the murder of a loved one is a little too macabre for my tastes. Instead of listening to OJ's quasi-confession, I'm going to turn off the TV and curl up with a copy of the Necronomicon.