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September 5, 2015

I Pity the Fool: Communication

by Kevin Kelly, posted Nov 20th 2006 9:07AM
T Balls!(S01E06) Mr. T finally meets someone that I'd love to see him go three rounds in the ring with -- Chef Ed. This week's show takes T to a flagging Italian restaurant called La Spezia, where the chef doesn't get along with and the staff or Owner Mike. When I say don't get along, I mean that there is real concern that Ed might take a cleaver to someone one day in the kitchen. The main ingredient in his character is a lot of rage. When you pit an immovable T against an unstoppable angry chef, whadda ya get? I ... don't really know the answer, that just sounded impressive to me.

So, Chef Ed may be a contestant in the "Angriest Person on Television" pageant, but how does T deal with him? Well, not very well. He tries asking him nicely to calm down and be calm with everybody, but that goes over like a lead balloon. So, step two -- T takes Chef Ed to the gym and has him take out all of his frustrations on a body bag with some punching gloves on. "Pretend that it's Mike!" Wham, wham, wham. Sadly, this is about as close as you'll get to seeing the return of Clubber Lang.

So, the body bag doesn't work either; Chef Ed screams at everyone to get out of his kitchen back at the restaurant, and then heads out back and kicks a shopping cart around. T is at a loss, and finally remembers a comment Chef Ed made about working in "medieval times." So, T brings the staff out into the parking lot, locks Chef Ed into some wooden stocks, and has them rub pasta, sauce, cheese and the like all over his head. Owner Mike even gets to cram a pie in his face. Now, I might be insane, but does this sound like the way to deal with someone who is only slightly less aggro than Randy "Macho Man" Savage?

At any rate, T also takes Owner Mike around to a meat market and tries to instruct him about the food, because apparently he only got into the business so he could get free food. Which might explain why his restaurant is tanking. So, armed with an educated Mike, tons of flyers, and a supposedly calm Chef Ed, T helps them launch their grand re-opening. The clock ticks ominously ... will anyone show up? Of course they do. The restaurant is packed, T has a group hug with everyone and then runs off into the distance. He's really racking up the miles by now.

Some T-isms from this weeks episode:

  • "It's like that old saying, if a man make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, even if he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door"
  • "I'm no expert on medieval times, but Chef Ed's excuse sounded more like jibba jabba to me."
  • "Fine dining? It sound more like fine whining to me."
  • The only crab in the kitchen was in the bisque!"

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