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October 10, 2015

Things I Hate About TV: Promise rings

by Jay Black, posted Nov 28th 2006 5:16PM
The BachelorMy wife made me tune into the big finale of ABC's The Bachelor last night. I tried desperately to talk her out of it (something about the resulting dip in testosterone from being exposed to the show might harm our chances at conceiving), but she persisted.

Like Jesse Palmer, and (inexplicably popular) Bob Guiney before him, last night's "Prince" Lorenzo (a man who has less claim to actually being a prince than the musician Prince does) decided to opt out of going through with proposing to his choice. He did give her a ring, but called it a "family ring" instead of an engagement ring. This takes even more guts than the other Bachelors who went with the more promising "promise" ring nomenclature.

Listen, I understand that it's difficult to find true love when sorting through women like they were cattle. I also know that with the newfound stardom the Bachelor now has, it's going to be a lot easier for him to pick up Eurotrash models at hip LA bars. With this going against them, there's very little chance that the two of them will stay together. By calling it a promise ring or a family ring or whatever, the Prince Lorenzo makes it a lot easier to save face for him and the network when he ditches Jennifer for an extra on The OC next January.

But the two hour finale of a major reality show is not about reality! It's about romance-porn. My wife wanted to see an engagement! She wanted to see a "prince" on one knee with a big diamond in his hand asking the girl in front of him for her hand in marriage. That's the money shot everyone is tuning in for. So what if the marriage doesn't last? America will forgive a phoney-baloney marriage a lot quicker than they will a poorly constructed reality show finale.

Imagine if the end of The Biggest Loser had all the contestants still fat but buying really nice jogging suits and "promising" that they were going to work out every day. Or if the finale of American Idol was the top two contestants "promising" that they were going to sort out who the winner is on their own. America would tear itself to pieces.

So, get your act together ABC. Have these shows end the way they're supposed to!

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Don't forget "That 70s Show" where a promise ring broke up Eric and Donna (the first time).

November 28 2006 at 10:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Why dont they just rename this show The Dating Game? We would still watch, wouldn't we?

P.S. I am always intrigued by husbands who say they are forced to watch the Bachelor-I have seen every episode of every Bachelor and my husband has never seen one, nor would I ever think he should-don't you have more than one TV? haha

November 28 2006 at 7:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Well, Joe Millionaire ended with a non-ring totally fake romantic ending...and then that was promptly ruined 30 seconds later when reality came along. So really, what's the point of faking fairy tale any more when the media lets you know real damn quick that the happy couple hasn't seen each other in five months thanks to the producers' requirements and the romance has fizzled by the time they make the talk show rounds?

November 28 2006 at 6:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
you da mom!

i don't want to see an engagement. i want to see him get a haircut and her get a life.

November 28 2006 at 5:51 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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