My first Festivus wish list for the upcoming year. Well, I did type up a Festivus wish list last year, but the only people who heard it were my wife and kids, who had no idea what I was talking about. In fact, I could swear my wife mumbled something like 'You need professional help' under her breath while I was expressing my wish that Barney the dinosaur be run over by a semi-truck. I ignored the statement, of course. I mean, I've been going to therapy for years. Five days a week. Twice a day. Plus, there are the drugs that curb my rage everytime I see that Mac-PC commercial. Sure, the drugs make me see visions of Rush Limbaugh in a thong, but they even my emotions out. For some reason, Rush in a thong seems to sooth me. It's either that or the sleeping pills, not too sure.

Anyway, I'm overwhelmed with emotion, yet highly medicated, as I type this up. So, if you see tear marks on this post please forgive me. Then again, if you see tear marks on this post you may want to talk to my therapist.

• Continued stability on ER: I've been a fan of ER since the very first episode, and I have certainly seen its ups and downs. This has been particularly true over the last few seasons as a number of major characters left. However, with the introduction of John Stamos, the solidification of the cast, the albatross finally being removed from Abby's neck, and the return to some classic ER storytelling some of the greatness has returned to the show. So, I ask the producers not to screw it up. Okay, you can let go of Luka because, frankly, he's becoming a PITA (Pain In The Ass), but let the cast meld a little before you introduce the next cataclysmic event to hit County General. Also, more Archie Morris stories. What can I say, the little guy is growing on me.
• No more serialized dramas, comedies, game shows or cartoons: I'm not talking about shows like Ugly Betty or ER that have stand-alone episodes with serialized elements. I'm talking about shows like Kidnapped, Vanished, Jericho and the grandaddy of them all, Lost. In other words, shows that you need to watch week-in and week-out (or at least read about, week-in and week-out on TV Squad) to keep track of what's going on. Americans have an extremely short-attention span and have a hard time keeping up with all of the twists and turns that shows like these provide. Keep piling them on the schedule and more and more of them are going to be sent away. Keep the ones that you have right now and concentrate something new for next season. Now, what was I talking about?
• Don't kill Eric Camden: Hey, CW! You want to save this horrible season of 7th Heaven, then make sure the creators/producers of the show do not kill off patriarch Eric Camden. Hopefully they did decide to end this storyline with last Sunday's episode, where Eric visits Heaven and is told that his time is not quite up yet. But, you never know. Oh, and while we are on the subject of the show please stop focusing on Lucy and Kevin, make Ruthie less of a bitch and give the producers more money to get some of the original cast back as well as acting lessons for the actors who play Sam and David.
• More Danny and Matt on Studio 60: I'm finally getting into the swing of Studio 60 after some very rough weeks where I just didn't see where the show was going. These last few episodes (particularly the Christmas episode) have seen a marked improvement from the earlier episodes. Yes, the show is still preachy, and I think everyone on the show is a bit too smart for their own good, but I like the way the show is heading. The only thing that would make it better is more interaction between Danny and Matt. We saw a whole bunch of it in the first two episodes and then it fizzled out while the show focused on the other characters. Now, we seem to be getting back into the back-and-forth between the two. Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry (no longer Chandler, folks) have some very good chemistry, as briefly seen on The West Wing, and it should be emphasized on this show.
• Do not hook up Elliot and Olivia on SVU: Benson and Stabler should never, ever, ever hook up! Never! The show would jump so high over the shark that the shark would be a dot if this happened. They can have a very close friendship, there can be signs of something more, but they cannot hook up. A show that features abusers, molesters, and rapists should not include a storyline about a budding romance between two police officers who've been partners for several years. And, while we are on the subject of relationships, never, ever, ever get Bones and Booth together on Bones. Well, unless it's during the series finale of a successful 10-season run. Hooking up Jack and Angela on Bones is okay, though.
• Have The Shield's Vic Mackey confront Shane about Lem's death and not wimp out: Lem's death on last season's finale of The Shield was very senseless and tragic. He was the conscience of the entire Strike Team and he was killed by one of its members, Shane, so their secrets and tactics wouldn't be revealed. We can only hope that Strike Team leader Vic Mackey finds out who did the killing and does the right thing: turning Shane in to the authorities, no matter how close they are. If Vic wimps out and decides to cover it all up I will lose respect for the character and the show. And, finally . . .
• A new sitcom for Dustin "Screech" Diamond: Just so we can shut him up.