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October 4, 2015

On the 3rd day of Festivus, TV gave to me

by Keith McDuffee, posted Dec 15th 2006 11:59AM
... three Subtle Subtitles.

Welcome to Subtle Subtitles. For those of you who are uninitiated to the purpose of this feature, we're asking you to come up with your funniest quote or description for what's going on in the screen grab we choose for the week. Winners are announced in the following Friday's contest.

Last week's winners:

3rd place to Chris W: "Ya know.... It's really hard to kill you when you won't stop laughing."
2nd place to Bus: "As the zombies moved in for the kill thinking only of their desire to feast on human flesh, Randy remembered his training. Zombies can't see you if you're happy. But, as they devoured his flesh, Randy remembered that rule only applied to Martha Stewart."
1st place to Toby OB: "In a desperate bid to raise money for the beleaguered network, NBC hired undocumented workers to get enough 'Tickle Me Randy' life-size party dolls ready in time for Christmas."

This week, some scenes from Christmas episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Everybody Hates Chris and, of course, Letterman. Choose one or do all three! Two more after the jump.

From How I Met Your Mother:
how i met your mother christmas

Everybody Hates Chris:
everybody hates chris

howard stern on letterman

Twelve Killed-Off Characters
Eleven Adult Swim Moments
Ten Lost Mysteries in Need A-Solving
Nine Colbert Moments
Eight Characters Quoted
Seven Sites Worth Linking
Six Creepy Killers
Five Canceled Shows
Four Small Screen to Big Screen Flops

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jim shapland

Our twin sons were born on December 23, 1951. So we have celebrating festivus day for 55 years and didn't even know it until 1998.

December 21 2006 at 11:16 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris Wyant

HIMYM: "..and that, kids, is the story on how your Aunt Robin invented the Spirit-Vac 4000 and became a bona fide ghostbuster."

"At age 9, Taylor Hicks went to a Detroit mall to ask Santa for three things: a soulful voice, a harmonica, and to keep his beautiful brown locks forever... Santa almost delivered."
"As Santa was complaining about the white man keeping him down, Timmy asked 'what's a white man?'"

Howard: "God, have you met Dave?"
"Howard Stern was out on a media blitz during the holiday season as the newest spokesperson for Lady Remington."
Howard: "I don't know if it's because I'm Jewish or if it's because I got it from a woman in front of the free clinic, but this Santa suit kind of burns."

December 20 2006 at 5:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Off topic, should I be worried that I've placed in a couple of these Subtle Subtitles and still don't have any stars to show for it?

December 20 2006 at 9:13 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Everybody Hates Chris:

"Wait. So you're a black Santa? In Goldstein's?! I don't have to be able to see to know how ridiculous that probably looks!"

December 20 2006 at 9:02 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
chris w

Finally, Rachael Rays' "30 Minute Meal" series hits a new low point. Too much EVOO, maybe?

December 18 2006 at 5:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

HIMYM: "Oh my god... The Christmas cookie goodness... Its.. Its.... ITS ALIVE!!"
Chris: "No Santa, with my new XFC-3000 Polycarbonate Shock Proof Protective Eye Wear System, there's no WAY I'll shoot my eye out!"

Letterman: "Uma.... Howard. Howard.... Uma?"

December 18 2006 at 2:16 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Robin: No, I'm fine! Just using my Ghostbusters equipment to exorcise the spirit of Lucille Ball from my oven!

Santa: So, Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happenin'? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, mother******?

Dave: Frankly, Howard, the one thing more disturbing than you wearing nothing under that robe would be if you were wearing Kirstie Alley's bikini.

December 16 2006 at 8:41 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Toby OB

"Die, Doughboy! Die! In the name of all that is holy, why won't you die!!!"

Young Master Cyclops tells Santa Claus about how horrible Christmas was last year at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters, what with the roast Beast.....

"Oh, come on, Dave! Go ahead and ask me about my Christmas ornaments! I dare you!"

December 16 2006 at 6:08 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply


Howard shows up in costume to announce his starring role in next year's "The Santa Clause IV: The Pervert Clause"

December 15 2006 at 10:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply


Not being much of a cook, Robin had no idea this wasn't the way to "frost" a cake.

December 15 2006 at 9:59 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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