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The Colbert Report: Countdown to Guitarmageddon -- VIDEO

by Annie Wu, posted Dec 21st 2006 1:01PM
Stephen ColbertLast night's episode of The Colbert Report, the heavily promoted "shred-off" between Stephen Colbert and The Decemberists' guitarist Chris Funk, was an amazing way to wrap up the show's 2006 run. It was a star-studded affair and, although I was a little disappointed in Colbert (read on and you'll see why), I quite enjoyed it. By the way, did anyone else expect the actual "shred-off" to be a few rounds of Guitar Hero?

To kick off with a little extra "rawk", Apples In Stereo's Robert Schneider (not to be confused with actor Rob Schneider) performed a hilarious/adorable song all about Colbert. "Steeephen! Steeephen! He's a dashing man, his name is Stephen!" I already have it on my iPod, folks.

The judges of the shred-off were music critic Anthony DeCurtis, NYU's Jim Anderson, and New York's governor-elect Eliot Spitzer (Spitzer owed Colbert a favor after Colbert helped him win... kind of). As if those weren't enough awkwardly overly-distinguished judges, Dr. Henry Kissinger made an appearance via satellite. That was... really crazy. I can't believe they got HENRY KISSINGER to come on some tiny cable show to say stuff like, "Stephen... It is time... to rock..." and "Stephen... Crank it up..." Only Colbert, man, only Colbert.

Anyway, as Kissinger said, it was time to rock, so Chris Funk rocked a crazy riff. Then, it was Colbert's turn. He ripped off his sleeves (fangirls, throw your panties at the screen now) and picked up a five-necked guitar. And then he totally copped out! I was so disappointed. I mean, I knew there was no way he was actually going to top Funk (despite Colbert's brilliant performance of "Charlene [I'm Right Behind You]"), but I still wanted to see him do something. Instead, he accidentally "cut" his fingers on the strings and prayed for a guitar hero to save the Colbert Nation. What better guitar hero than Peter Frampton and his magic talkbox? Peter effin' Frampton (fangirls, throw your back-up panties at the screen now)! Okay, I was still pretty disappointed, but Frampton's cool too.

Of course, Colbert (slash Frampton) was declared the winner and he giddily accepted his prize, a copy of The Decemberists' "The Crane Wife". To wrap things up, there was a huge all-star guitar jam with Schneider, Frampton, Funk, Rick Neilsen from Cheap Trick (!), Colbert on talkbox, and Kissinger on harmonica (no, I'm just kidding).

I'm all rocked out, folks. I foresee three weeks of recovery time, with a strict diet of Enya and Yanni.

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Here's a great review of the entire Colbert vs. Decemberists challenge (and some more):


December 26 2006 at 8:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Kissinger was a bad choice: the guy has some nasty blood on his hands. It ruined a spectacular 2006 finale.

I guess they couldn't get Pinochet...

December 24 2006 at 8:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

That was a fantastic episode, though i was also a little disappointed at Colbert's cop out for the shred off, but still a hilarious episode

I lost it when Kissenger said lets rock and crank it up

December 21 2006 at 11:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
DB Ferguson (from www.nofactzone.net)

The hyperlinks don't seem to be working. Go to my Blog, NoFactZone.net, to find the links to MP3's of all of the music on last night's show:

December 21 2006 at 3:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
DB Ferguson (from www.nofactzone.net)

Here's some links to the songs (courtesy of NoFactZone.net and ColbertsHeroes.org)

Robert Schneider

Part I - Chris Funk

Part II - Stephen Colbert/ Peter Frampton

Finale - with Stephen on that weird Frampton mouth thing, plus Rick Nielsen, Peter Frampton, Robert Schneider, and Chris Funk

December 21 2006 at 3:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

How did you get your hands on an .mp3 of any of these songs, and how can I get my filthy hands on an .mp3 of this song?

December 21 2006 at 2:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Dr. Henry Killinger... and his magic murder bag.

December 21 2006 at 2:00 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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