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The Five: The Collected Poems of Rosie O'Donnell
Right as the public's sympathy was swinging in her favor, Rosie O'Donnell had to go and unleash another rhyme and verse on us via her blog about Donald Trump in which she creates a somewhat strained metaphor between a 1970s pimp and Donald working over Miss America. Much like fellow TV Squad scribe Anna, I could care less about Rosie's public squabbles and controversies. However, I do find it endlessly amusing that the last word in these public debates comes in the form of butchered Japanese poetry. Rosie is, of course, more invested in the spirit of the haiku and has never put much stock in a strict adherence to the 5-7-5 syllable scheme. I'd argue that she's actually grown way beyond the haiku, flown by sonnets and is taking us straight into epic territory. With Rosie making The View must-watch TV these past few months, I think a year-end review of Rosie's top five poetic expressions is in order:
5. Excerpt from Election Night:
it is election night
i am on my way to a streisand tailgate
the devoted gather
as we should
2 celebrate
to give thanks
4. Excerpt from Jennifer:
the seahorse she told me
was sent by steve irwin
to remind blake of the beauty and magic
in the sea
3. Response to the "Ching-Chong" incident:
i am sorry it hurt u
i didnt think of it the way it was taken
i will b more sensitive
promise.
2. Excerpt from Miami:
remember the seventies
a young girl in nyc
meets a pimp
he cons her into a life of illusion
she works for him
no fun - no f-cking - no future
she is owned
when she sneaks out -
to party the night away
he freaks
he roughs her up a bit
shames her in front of the others
teaches her to behave
for his own benefit
and just when we lost all hope
cagney and lacey showed up
they cuff the pimp
they free the girl
marybeth and christine
would never
be friends with a pimp
1. Excerpt from Aloha:
ee cummings was just lazy
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