That M*A*S*H finale really was a bloated mess
Last week, I caught some of TV Land's M*A*S*H marathon, and I've got to tell you, my all-time favorite show really hasn't aged much, as far as I'm concerned. If an episode I particularly enjoy is being shown, I'll still stop and watch it, knowing full well what the plot and even some of the dialogue will be. I especially like the episodes from the show's later years, which some felt were overly dramatic and preachy; I just feel they're better written and show more character development than the earlier episodes.Anyway, as part of the marathon, TVL showed the record-setting finale, "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen," in its entirety. I've got to be honest with you; I probably haven't seen that movie in one shot since it first aired in 1983.
In syndication, it got split up into five parts, and it hasn't been shown in one piece much in the last 24 years. I forgot how much content there was in the movie; it originally ran on CBS at two and a half hours, and according to its Amazon listing, the movie was 121 minutes long after the commercials were taken out. What I also didn't realize, and didn't really notice until seeing the movie in one shot, that it's at least thirty minutes too long.
I remember the hype that surrounded the finale; it was supposed to be only two hours, but CBS sold so much advertising for it (at a higher rate than that year's Super Bowl, according to the episode's Wikipedia entry) that they expanded it to two-and-a-half hours. And it shows. Talk about the kitchen sink; its as if nothing went on in Korea during the first 250 episodes of the show, so they decided to throw it all in at the end. Here's what the 4077th went through during the last days of the war, in no particular order:
- Hawkeye has a nervous breakdown after accidentally inducing a woman to smother her child.
- A POW camp has sprung up in the compound because the Army won't take local prisoners.
- An injured tank driver rolls into the camp. The tank isn't removed, drawing enemy fire.
- B.J. is inadvertently sent home, gets as far as Guam, then is shipped back.
- Father Mulcahy goes deaf after being hurt trying to help the POWs.
- Charles "captures" five Chinese soldiers that happen to all have instruments. He tries to teach them to play a Mozart quintet, and he almost succeeds. They get killed during a prisoner transfer; Charles loses his taste for music because of it.
- After the shelling stops -- a not-quite-well Hawkeye drives the tank out of the camp right after he came back from the hospital -- incendiary bombs force the camp to bug out.
- After a truce is declared, the camp moves back to its original spot, only to find that the fire took out everything (there was a real brush fire where the show was filmed, so that may have had something to do with that plot line).
- Klinger gets married to Soon-Lee, and decides to stay in Korea to help her find her family.
- The war ends.
They did a lot of things right on the episode; the goodbyes were emotional but not schmaltzy, and you could definitely feel the love the cast had for each other in those goodbyes. And, of course, the last scene, where Hawkeye sees the "Goodbye" BJ made out of rocks on the helipad, made every M*A*S*H fan out there smile. But did Hawkeye really need to go crazy and go into deep analysis with Sidney Freedman for half the movie? Did B.J. really need to go home? Did they really need to deal with being shot at and burned down? Even if you make the "it's all part of war" excuse, well... they had 250 episodes to do these stories. Why lump them all in at the end?
Anyway, it really pains me to say all this, but I've always thought this finale has been over-praised for the last quarter-century, and my viewing of it only confirmed that for me. Granted, it's many degrees better than most finales of long-running shows (like Seinfeld), but it could have been even better if they didn't buckle to network pressure and stuck to writing a shorter, tighter movie.
Any thoughts? Let me know in the comments.

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