Stephen Colbert, Bill O'Reilly and my sighs of disappointment - VIDEOS
After all the excitement from Comedy Central and the web, I must say I was expecting a little more from the O'Reilly/Colbert appearance swap. Don't get me wrong, though, because I was definitely entertained. It's just that I didn't think the whole thing lived up to the hype. When it ended and the dust quickly cleared, I confusedly blinked and looked around. No carnage... Only mild scrapes, light bruises and the sound of my annoyingly exaggerated sighs. I wanted to see blood on those crisp French cuffs, damn it. Oh, well. I guess we can't get everything we want.Stephen Colbert on The O'Reilly Factor:
I didn't watch this until it was uploaded on YouTube, of course. Once, when I was very young and naive, I tried to sit through an entire episode of The Factor. That proved to be a terrible mistake, because, before the Talking Points Memo was even over, I could feel myself trying to will my brain to die. I also cried for about five days. Anyway, I had learned my lesson and decided to take the safe YouTube route, skip all the Factor stuff and get straight to the interview.
I thought Colbert did a great job, especially in handling O'Reilly when he kept trying to get Colbert all testy and defend Jon Stewart. He even got a lot of laughs from O'Reilly's crew, which was a pleasant surprise. I wonder if any of O'Reilly's viewers thought Colbert was a real guy. Oh, and, as much as I hate to do this, I must commend O'Reilly for being enough of a sport to bring Colbert on this program. It took balls, O'Reilly. Big, brass balls.
Some of my favorite quotes...
- Colbert: "I'm afraid of bears. I think owls are a waste of time."
- Colbert: "I'm doing you, Bill." (Immature, I know. I'm sorry, I can't help myself)
- Colbert: "They criticize what you say, but they never give you credit for how loud you say it."
- O'Reilly: "Who are you?! ColberT or Colbert?!"
Bill O'Reilly on The Colbert Report:
I never thought I would think such things, but I was expecting more O'Reilly. God, that sounds so wrong, but... it's true. I was tuning in for a full half-hour of Colbert on O'Reilly action (okay, that sounds wrong). Instead, we got six minutes. Six? Seriously? They devoted an entire episode to some silly guitar contest, but the man who inspired Colbert's entire persona (and therefore, show) got just as much time as any other no-name guest? That's no way to treat Papa Bear. I expected at least a sixteen-minute tribute to the Factor, not the usual Report material at the top of the show.
The oh-so-subtle sexual predator jab made me laugh so hard, I shot orange juice out of my nose... And I wasn't even drinking orange juice! Talk about walking the line. The pre-interview montage, 30% sticker, and O'Reilly's secular progressive picture were also hilarious. Oh, and, apparently, Colbert really did steal a microwave from the green room.
Again, I must commend O'Reilly for coming on the show, even though it was pretty obvious he tried to take down Colbert and totally failed.
Some of my favorite quotes...
- Colbert: "I am a deeply religious man who will do anything you say."
- Colbert: "Deal or No Deal? Pick a side! We're at war."
- O'Reilly: "I'm not a tough guy... This is all an act. I'm sensitive --"
Colbert: "If you're an act... then what am I?"
- Colbert: "What's destroying our country more? Activist judges, illegal immigrants, gay marriage, or NBC News?"
O'Reilly, without hesitation: "NBC News."

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