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August 31, 2015

Smallville: Crimson

by Kevin Kelly, posted Feb 2nd 2007 1:15AM
Crimson - Smallville love-fest

Valentine's Day comes to Smallville about two weeks before the rest of the country. Why can't these episodes come on closer to the actual date of the holiday? Okay, I'm griping too much. We've got the return of Red Kryptonite, and it's about darn time. It comes at the right time, too ... given the fact that Lois has gotten a bit itchy in her relationship with Oliver Queen, and Lana is about to go fully over to the dark side and marry Lex Luthor, not to mention have his baby. That's getting a bit too close to the whole Anakin/Padme relationship, ain't it?

The whole little Zoltar machine slash Gypsy slash matchmaker woman who just gives Lois the magical lipstick was wayyyyy to much of a plot device for me. It's like the writers were in a post-Chinese food coma and decided to just have some character waltz in and hand it over. Was it too convenient? Am I griping about the small stuff too much again? Most likely. Granted, the alternative was probably having a department of LuthorCorp working on cosmetics, and some wacky scientist decides to add meteor rocks and yadda yadda yadda. K-powered shampoo and shaving gel for the world.

Seriously, though. I pretty much forgot the rest of this show once Lois showed up in her "hot" outfit. Me-yow! Anyone else know where to score some of that Liptonite? (Thank you, I'll be trademarking that one). Did anything else happen after the showed up in that mini and extremely revealing top? Then the double-whammy with the boob tattoo, proving that the producers have no shame. After that, I woke up in a puddle of my own drool and it was 2 AM. Thankfully, we have the wonderful technological advances of DVR.

They also decided to go a bit nuts on this episode, showing us yet another room of the Luthor mansion. A super-secret baby room that Lana had no idea about. So of course, it won't be hard for Lex to conceal an entire team of supervillains from her. What happened to the Lana that we'd come to love and admire? The tough girl who found out things on her own, knew some karate, and was possessed by a spirit from the past? Where'd she go? Wherever you are, Lana, we miss you. Drop us a line sometime so we can write.

Okay, that scene where Clark confronts everyone at the Lex/Lana engagement party? That's where Smallville needs to be every episode. Couldn't you just feel the anger and emotion seething in the room? Damn skippy! Clark dishes it out to Lex, Lana, Chloe, and even Mom in spades. Where are Lionel and Oliver during all this? Maybe they need some Red K on this show more often, because it's a hell of a lot more exciting when they do. Powerful scene, but then the anti-love spell Kryptonite spray killing the Red K lipstick was slightly cheeseball, but I'm a forgiving kinda guy.

What a whirlwind episode. Clark making out with Lois, Clark spilling his guts at the party, Clark kissing Lois, Lex stabbing Clark, Martha using Green K on Clark, Jimmy breaking up with Chloe. I feel like I've been through the wringer, and I blame The CW. You're on the way back up Smallville, keep climbing and we'll be happy. Also, please try and make this mystery around Lana's baby something really good, or we'll feel cheated.

Did you catch some of the titles on Lois' love mix cd for Clark. Them's some real lovin' songs goin' on there:

  • Electric Hippo - Wet Water
  • Bitter End - Fast
  • Mojo Henry - Metro
  • The Way - White Pyramid
  • The Psychedelic Supermarket
  • Stone City - Picadilly Light Show
  • Dustin and the Gurus
  • Rasta Mike's Reggae
  • Portland Zoo - Menagerie
  • Plus, no Whitesnake anywhere, grrr.

Quotes of the show:

  • Chloe: "Don't worry Clark, your achy breaky heart will go away too one of these days." Oh ZING, Chloe. Zing.
  • Clark: "Lois ... welcome to the love fest." Lois: "Yeah, and me without my uzi."
  • Jimmy: (via a card to Chloe): "Thanks for my first unsucky Valentine's Day." He's really good with the words.
  • Clark: (to Lois) "I'm going to make sure you spelled my name right." (on her tattoo ... then proceeds to rip her shirt open. yow.)

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hey guys... I have a question...

Does any one know what song is playing in the beginning of CRIMSON with the valentine's party background?

The only thing I can hear is the piano/organ behind....

March 03 2007 at 6:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Sweet Baby Jesus!

When will the writers finally put us all out of our misery and KILL that no talent hack Lana? I cringe everytime I see her enter a scene and I can not figure out why they have been force feeding her down our collective pieholes! It seems that they will use any contrived plot device to include her in the action. Meh!

More Chloe and Lois, less whiney helpless clueless Lana.....Thank you.


February 11 2007 at 12:59 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Melissa G

I thought Crimson was Great, but not Excellent. I would give it four stars out of five. I wanted more Clark scenes(of course them in bed wouldn't hurt, hehe, though I get all bothered(I get butterflys(and when if he gets hurt and someone has to take care of him) just by the camera showing Clark with no shirt and taking off his pants or just him and his pants) and I just love the way Lois threw Clark up against the wall, esp if I ever got a chance to do it, yowza yowza! 8)

I didn't like Jimmy and Chloe breaking up, geez, she doesn't get a guy for like how many years and she barely has him for so many months and already they seperate, ugh.

I love it too when Clark is on the Red K.
I was thinking. Ok, how are they going to get that Red K out of Clark now? if the Green K just makes him sick? He totally reacts differently than anyone who is remotely normal. Now that would be a real show, have Clark get into the Red K and then no one knows how to get it out of him?? Talk about a challenge case, huh?

How many times can it work that Clark does something and whoever he shows "conveniently" forgets what happens, like when CK took Lois flying this time.

I too enjoyed the scene of Clark crashing the the wedding rehearsal dinner. It is about time he told everyone his true feelings.

I too am sick of the Lana thing but then again I am a die hard Lana/Clark fan and hated when the writers are pairing Lana and Lex together. Makes me wonder if any of the actors/actresses get a chance to ad lib or help in writing anything because I bet they feel stuck sometimes too.??

I thought it was cool how Clark seems to always "know" how to fly when he is on Red K.
But when he is just a farm boy he is being "goody two shoes" for his parents (protecting them as well as himself) and not for himself so the Red K just brings out his real true feelings he has about the whole picture.

When Clark does the "bad boy" stuff it is because he is being more Assertive and taking what he wants and he doesn't care what others think. He has more confidence in himself.

Lionel and Oliver are not going to be in the wedding rehearsal dinner due to all the bad feelings between Lex and those two. Though I am surprised that Lionel went back to his old self and the relationship between Lois and Oliver was there and gone.

I think they are moving all of this stuff too fast. I guess we will have to work on writing our own "series", hehe. I am quite sure a man/woman team writers could do pretty good.
I am hoping this season lasts at least 10 seasons but at the rate this is going, depends on how great the writing would be. Of course, I am always rooting for the Big screen for TW.

The saying the lawyer used was "The pregnancy is going along as expected" like it was planned. Though we haven't seen what happened to Lex and his blood being "cleaned out" so to speak and I wonder if that has anything to do with it. It all depends on how far along she is?

I noticed the gypies mention of Lois and Clark's destiny together and was wondering, how does she "know" that, Ms Psychic?

And how did Lana have time or even get out of the mansion to go and get the bent "screwdriver" I think it is??

I just hope that the kiss that Clark and Lana had makes her really "think" about her feelings she has for Clark because he wasn't the only one kissing,it takes two.

February 08 2007 at 7:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I'm surprised you also didn't pick up on the gypsy's line about Lois and Clark having a future together. Especially since Jimmy didn't even mention Clark's name to her. hmmmm...

February 04 2007 at 10:02 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Hi all ~

The reason Ollie was not at the engagement party is because he left town. Remember.... in a previous episode Green Arrow went off to save the world with the rest of the Justice League boys. Oliver broke it off with Lois by saying he wouldn't be returning to Metropolis, at least not for a long time. Even if he wasn't off saving the world, would he have been there toasting considering his hatred of Lex?!??!?! I'm guessing only if he was trying to gather more info to stop all the creepy experiments at Luther Corp. One of which might be the "baby" that Lana is carrying.

Happy Watching!


February 04 2007 at 6:42 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

The episode also hinted at Lana's pregnancy not being normal. The doctor who checked her out after all the hubbub told Lex something like "Well you know this pregnancy is unusual..." Perhaps Lex found an alternative way to get Lana pregnant. (though why he wouldn't pursue the usual way I have no idea)

February 03 2007 at 1:48 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I thought early on red kryptonite Clark wasn't quite right. He seemed like... not as crazy/evil/whatever.

And the doctor at the end with the "you're fine Miss Lane, nothing to worry aboot" crazy Canadian accent was awesome. Normally they're pretty good at people having to sound mostly Kansas-y, but they dropped the ball (puck?) with him.

February 02 2007 at 7:42 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

You forgot to mention the ending. You know when Lana pulls out the piece of metal that Clark got stabbed with and it got bent. Maybe strong Lana is coming back with finding out Clark's secret.

February 02 2007 at 3:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

At the end of the episode when Clark and Lois are talking in his loft, Clark hands the CD back to Lois. She looks at it and says something like, "Whitesnake. I must have really liked you."

February 02 2007 at 12:57 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I love it when Clark is on the red stuff. I'm kinda tired of the whole Lana thing, again again and again!!! I think they come in each day and be like role camera and love triangle we've been having for like 3 yrs know!! Action!!!!

February 02 2007 at 11:10 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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