An ode to Idol from San Antonio
You could just say, "stretching," "for" and "programming." Still, I did see some exciting moments, glimpses of humanity and heartlessness from the judges, plasticine princesses and the end of the "door" joke in tonight's stop in San Antonio. It was all the things I love and hate about Idol.
I finally heard a voice I was into -- from an unlikely person. When they started the segment on Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk, I was sure it was a joke. Who wouldn't think that after all the odd couples they've thrown together over the season? I was even more convinced after the Incredible Hulk sang "Amazing Grace" like the love child of Barry White and William Hung.
But when Bruce Banner, or whatever his name was, started singing I thought, wow. He started off a little shaky but had a really cool, unique voice. Finally, man! I hope he does well, even if he is goofy. So, hugs, love, xoxoxo, OMG and that crap to you, buddy.
I was a little surprised at the judges tonight. For having next to no sleep, Simon seemed pretty chipper. All of them seemed upbeat, actually. So happy, I guess, that it was hard for them to stop laughing at people when they shouldn't. It was pretty rude they way they snickered at Jasmine Holland as she started singing. It's true, she shouldn't pursue a career in music, but for the first time I was actually nodding my head while someone was mouthing off to the judges.
Every episode, they've shown clips of that stupid door and the even more stupid people running into it. Finally, I saw an end to it. It wasn't that funny really -- mostly annoying. I kind of wish I'd seen Baylie Brown hit the door full steam like everyone else, though. I know, I'm supposed to like the hot girl who claims she's not a country singer and chooses to audition with a Faith Hill song, but the fact the she's everything the record labels look for makes me want to see her crash and burn immediately.
I guess I'm tired of people trying to recreate something that should be spontaneous. In this case, I don't want to see someone who's studied magazines and has cultivated a look that is identical to so many others I've seen before. Poor, poor girl... She says she'll fit right in in Hollywood and she's probably right, but at 16, I wish she knew what she was getting herself into. She'll be 45 by age 20, wearing her hips on her lips and making a semi-annual pilgrimage to the best rehab centers that money can buy.
Thanks, Idol, for helping people find what they want in life -- even if it is fleeting and unfulfilling for some. But, that's what I like about you. Making dreams come true. The exposure and success is what you make of it, I suppose. I wish you didn't spoon feed me a formula that was cool the first time but every time after that is tired and an insult to my intelligence. I hate that. There's got to be a better way.
[Jon Peter Lewis was a contestant on the third season of "American Idol." He has just released his debut album, "Stories From Hollywood." Visit his Web site, jonpeterlewis.com.]
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