(S01E14) Yeesh. This episode was one silly drawn-out mess.

A Britney/Paris/Lindsay type starlet is run off the road and killed. Initially the paparazzi seem to be responsible, adding a touch of the Princess Di tragedy to the mix. There's a possible stalker angle. There is molestation by step-parent: a middle-aged man with an earring. An opportunistic kid sister. A fake celebrity feud started for "cross-promotional purposes." All this gives Stark and the rest of the High Profile Crime Unit plenty of beautiful people to sneer at, although, strangely, none of the guest performers cast as the various young celebrities are nearly as attractive as the gorgeous cast of series regulars.

Stark busts into the prime suspect's home during the dead starlet's memorial service, wearing his slick Hollywood suit and his killer shades. He has the girl's stepfather arrested. He's got the right man, so all that's left for the remaining three-quarters of an episode is to see how badly Stark can screw up the trial before finally pulling out a win at the last possible moment.

Stark's star witness is a former protégé and lover of the stepfather; a seemingly good witness, one would suppose. Only problem is that she's got a criminal record, and has also signed a deal to write a tell-all book. Stark didn't vet her I guess, and all this come as a complete surprise to him when the defense reveals it on cross. The defense didn't seem to have any trouble digging up these facts on the witness, by the way. Pretty embarrassing for the Shark, but he doesn't even bother to chew out his staff for it this time, as he usually does when one of his own witnesses surprise him on the stand.

There's a lot of stuff going on here that escapes Sebastian. The bodyguard subplot that started last week with Julie gets even more ridiculous this time out. I wouldn't have thought that possible. True, Stark gives the bodyguard a dirty look when he's messing around with Julie in the kitchen, so Stark is not completely oblivious. However, he evidently doesn't consider the guy's lackadaisical chummy attitude toward his charge a firing offense.

Too bad. Later, this alleged "bodyguard" lets Julie talk him into bringing her along to a side job (Owen Wilson's birthday party). At the club he is nowhere in sight while high-schooler Julie gets chatted up by a reality show rep, then helps herself to the champagne. Oh no, the kid's about to be sucked into the same lifestyle that her Dad, through his work, sees causing so much damage to American youth. Decadence, decadence everywhere, seems to be the message. But really it is stupidity that is rampant and threatens to cause more damage than anything. Wayne the serial killer is forgotten. Evidently the newest danger to Julie is going to be America's Next Top Model.

Jeri Ryan watch: D.A. Jess Devlin shows up in two scenes, once to yell at Stark because there are paparazzi outside the courthouse (because he is responsible for the victim's celebrity status, I guess?) and a second time to give him a 2:30 deadline before she shuts down the case.