Desperate Housewives: I Remember That

(S03E14) Unfortunately, except for a few really well-quipped one-liners, Desperate Housewives seems to be suffering from the February blahs. I wish I could say that I have some enthusiasm or interest in what the season is lining up for us. I just hope it gets a little more interesting.

And yes, I did see the part where Orson fell over the rail. Hey, at least he was at the hospital...

The first funny quip came from Orson: "I had sex with Alma and I wasn't even conscious? How reminiscent of our marriage."

I'm not going to get into the whole issue of the fact that Alma raped Orson, because obviously the show is choosing to treat the issue humorously, and frankly, I think it's beating a dead horse to keep harping on it. Also? The only evidence we have that Orson and Alma actually had sex is Alma's word, and Alma is a liar. So, let's wait until we actually know something more... fruitful. I suppose the real question is: Is Alma a murderer?

We did find out that Mike isn't a murderer. Or, well, he wasn't before he was tussling with Orson by that ledge. Can Mike get charged with manslaughter for that, or have I been watching too many episodes of CSI? Thank goodness hypnotherapy works so fast!

The single most significant, character-building moment of this episode came when Tom finally told Lynette that she had to check her balls at the door. It was a very self-aware moment when Tom said, "Every day when I come home, I check my balls at the door." Well, at least he's doing it knowingly and willingly. And good for him for establishing himself as the boss early at that restaurant. Maybe there is hope for him yet. Another great line came from Edie: "Oh, Tom, please. You've checked out my butt enough times to know I don't eat pizza."

Even though they give her lame story lines, Eva Longoria still delivers some great lines and has some great scenes. First, she told Zach that now that she is in her thirties, "I now have to subscribe to Cat Fancy. It's the law," which made me snort. Her attempts to flirt with Luke the Lawyer were also funny, because he was such a dim bulb. But even these brief moments of pleasure are not enough to compensate for the fact that Gaby has had little to do this season. Her best scenes are still with Carlos.

At one time, I was interested enough on the Orson and Bree storyline to care about Orson's innocence or guilt. Now, I am just kind of waiting for Marcia Cross to have her babies. Do you think Orson is still alive? Do you care?

The funeral was just... awkward. But I suppose we had to close that chapter in Ian's life. But honestly, proposing to Susan in the morgue, before the funeral feast was cold? Well, Hamlet's stepfather did that too. The comparison isn't favorable.