The Amazing Race All-Stars: I told you less martinis and more cardio
(S11E01) I couldn't believe how much of this episode was spent just on the intial drive to the Miami airport. It wasn't really that stressful, nor was it a turning point in the race. It was just gratuitous video of Mercedes station wagons driving on different Miami freeways. Bo-ring. I think the editors had to do that because the Detour ended up being too easy. The farmers wrangled the horses for the teams and tied them down. The shears must've been pretty sharp because everybody seemed to get the hooves and hair off with no problem- in fact, we only saw one or two teams actually do the challenge because it was so lame.
This week our racers only went to one country: Ecuador.
Kevin & Drew : Season 1. Both got married and gained some weight. Did you notice the time that Drew gave up on this race? It was when Charla beat him to the cars at the very beginning. He didn't say so (or maybe he did say something but it ended up on the editing room floor). I don't know what he was thinking when he signed up to do this race again. He knows there's a lot of running and energy required! He did nothing but bitch and moan. I really wanted them to be eliminated. I don't see them making it very far this season.
Rob & Amber : Season 7. Married 1.5 years. Ah... the couple we love to hate. I can't help but root for these two because Rob is so relaxed as he works other teams into a fit by being such a slimeball. I just want them to stay in this race for as long as possible because they're just too entertaining. Plus, they must pray to some reality television show God or something because they always get the fastest drivers!
Uchenna @ Joyce : Winners from season 7. Still haven't had a child (in vitro failed). These two are my sentimental favorites. I remember crying with Joyce as she had her head shaved in India. But this time around they seem like they're already second-guessing their decision to race. They seem tired and slow compared to the others. Is it because they already won $1 million? I remember last time they were searching for something to hold their marriage together, and they say they're doing it again. I don't think what they need is on The Amazing Race.
Dustin & Kandice : Season 10. Beauty queens. These two don't seem to have their game faces on... not like they did last season. Their elimination last season seems like it still is upsetting them and they're already struggling. Maybe they're tired? I was rooting for them in season ten and I'd be rooting for them again if they'd wake up and play the damn game.
Joe & Bill : Season 1. "We're two gay grandpas." We didn't see much of Joe & Bill. They must not say much during the race because the camera only cut to them with worried looks on their faces.
Charla & Mirna : Season 5. Cousins and fan favorites from the whole series. For a while it looked like these two were going to be eliminated because they went to the South entrance of the park in Ecuador. Luckily, another team made the same mistake and it turned out to be fatal for them. I think Mirna came into this season with a little too much confidence in herself. She and Charla have probably received a lot of attention since appearing in season five. Of the two, I find Charla much more appealing. Mirna is a little on the annoying side.
David & Mary : Season 10. Kentucky! I couldn't believe Mary lied to the beauty queens straight off the top of the show! She learned how to play dirty. I loved how these two were starstruck by all the other All-Stars from the race. I would like them to stick around for a while but they're much slower than the others and there's no "six pack" to help them along. P.S. I put a photo up on this post to show you Mary's t-shirt, which is a shout-out to the Cho brothers--their saviors--from last season.
Teri & Ian : In season 3, they placed 2nd by less than 2 minutes. These two bicker a bunch but we weren't treated to much of it during tonight's episode. They are great racers and fearless in a vehicle though so I'm sure there's plenty of Teri & Ian in our future. P.S. Was Ian's outfit during testimonials an homage to The Crocodile Hunter, or what?
Oswald & Danny : Season 2. "Plutonic husband and husband." We didn't get to see these two very much, either. They made some great jokes about wanting to be a hairdresser during the Detour but that was about it. They're a good, strong team though with few issues that we can see so they'll probably be around for a bit.
John Vito & Jill [ELIMINATED]: Season 3. These two used to be dating but they've broken up and remained friends. Jill is really intense. I thought her face was going to explode in the Miami airport when she was ordering tickets to Ecuador. These two got bad directions from some guy and ended up on the wrong side of the park where the challenge was. I really would've rather seen Drew & Kevin go but they're probably next.
Eric & Danielle : Season 9. Didn't race together before, but hooked up during season 9. Didn't see much of these two. If they stay in the game for a while we'll get the usual couple issues of one person being offended when the other one gets frustrated. These two haven't been dating for too long so it could get ugly. I liked how Eric plowed past Uchenna & Joyce on the way to the challenge- nice four wheel driving!
Best line from John Vito: "I've had enough of Rob & Amber. I think America has also."