American Idol: First Live Results Show

(S06E13) "The votes are in," Ryan says to start off the show, and this, my friends, is what we've all been waiting for, isn't it? It's finally OUR turn. Tonight we send four people packing, crushing their hopes and dreams in front of a live audience and millions more watching from home. This is true, live, exciting entertainment. And soon we'll know who's in, who's out, and if our favorites are safe...or not.

But first, the judges sum-up their thoughts about the competition, so far. Randy says he thinks this year it's gonna be a "girl's race," but Simon still thinks two or three guys show potential. Paula says the boys have only one way to go, and points up towards the heavens. Unfortunately, she's wrong. Some people can definitely spiral lower and lower (Sundance, Sanjaya, and Antonella, I'm pointing at you) and we'll all be here to watch.

SOME STATS: There were almost 32 million votes cast Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS: Ryan reads off a list of BIG NAME CELEBS who will be coaching this year's contestants: Diana Ross, Jon Bon Jovi, Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefani, Tony Bennett, Martina McBride, Lulu, Peter Noone (from Herman's Hermits), and Barry Gibb.

Is anyone else wondering how exactly J.Lo, with her limited singing ability, is going to coach anyone vocally? Dancing, perhaps. But vocally?

A BIG GROUP NUMBER: The Top 24 sings "Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Tears for Fears. It's like a big old sappy, but fun-loving, Coke commercial. I think Melinda and Lakisha even shine vocally during this performance. But image-wise, I can't take my eyes off of Brandon. He really looks comfortable on stage. And AJ shows some personality.

IT'S TIME TO SEND A BOY HOME:

Brandon -- Is safe.
Sundance -- Is safe (what???)
Chris R. -- Is safe
Nick -- Is safe
Blake -- Is safe (Hey, is that his mom or Roseanne Barr clapping?)
Paul -- The Journey Ends

Goodness that was harsh. No buildup, no "you're in the bottom three," and no "we'll find out after THIS commercial." Ryan just sprung it on us. Good thing I was paying attention.

Paula tells Paul, "You have a real nice voice...you tried a little bit too hard, and picked the wrong song." Paul is heartbroken, he says "It hurts." We know, baby. We know, but someone had to go. Sorry.

TIME TO SEND A GIRL HOME:
Back row first again.

Jordin: Is safe
Stephanie: Is safe
Sabrina Sloan: Is safe
Leslie: Is safe
Melinda: Is safe

It's down to Antonella last, so you would assume she's the one going home, and even Antonella assumes that because she looks like she's about to burst into tears. It's at that moment that I realize the producers are setting us up. We all expected Antonella to be cut (because she stinks) but oh no, now that she's alone on stage, it truly becomes apparent that she's not going anywhere.

Antonella: Is safe (Boo)

Then out of nowhere Ryan asks Amy to join him on the stage and he pulls the Band-aid off the scab so darn quick, I barely have time to register what he's saying: "Amy, your journey ends tonight." Ouch. That stung. At times like this, I really hate Ryan. He's such a cold bastard.

Words of advice from Simon to Amy: "You didn't stand out amongst twelve people." Which is basically his way of saying, "Sorry, babe, but you need to make a bigger impression (naughty photos help, ask Antonella) if you want to be a star."

Amy gives her final performance and as she sings the words "I can't make you love me, if you won't," I can't help but think she picked an oddly prophetic song.

Up next, Ryan explains "The American Idol Challenge" which is a trivia contest with a $10,000 cash prize, plus a trip to Hollywood, and tickets to next week's show. There's also a chance to win the grand prize of $100,000 and Grand Finale tickets.

The question: Of these three Idol winners (Carrie, Kelly and Fantasia), whose multi-platinum-selling album is titled Breakaway? That's a really, really ridiculously easy question. Do you think they just want to make a butt-load of money off of all those text messages at 99 cents per entry? Sheesh, like these guys don't make enough money on this show, they have to charge for a "contest?" LAME, REALLY LAME.

FANTASIA PERFORMS: She comes out and hugs Ryan, and we see Quincy Jones hanging out in the front row. Fantasia tells us her big news (that we already heard via internet rumors) -- She'll be starring in The Color Purple, starting April 10th. Ryan asks Quincy Jones if he thinks Fantasia is ready for the role, and Quincy says "Absolutely" and starts to talk about the play, but they cut back to Ryan who says "okay" and completely ignores Mr. Jones. Wow, how disrespectful. That's no way to treat a legendary record producer and music impresario.

Fantasia sings "I'm Here." She's got an amazing voice. I've always liked her. However, the dress isn't the most flattering, and the tattoo on her chest is a bit distracting.

TIME TO CUT A SECOND GIRL:

Haley: Is safe.
Lakisha: Is safe.
Gina: Is safe (the girl ain't as tough as she looks, she's got tears in her eyes)

It's down to two, NICOLE vs. ALAINA. Both could leave and I wouldn't care.
Alaina: Is safe.
Nicole: Leaves us tonight.

Nicole is really upbeat, says "It's okay...I had a lot of fun." Her mom and little sister look way sadder than her. By the way, her little sister looks like a 10-year-old Drew Barrymore. Paula is on her feet, gushing: "You're a brilliant vocalist...you can do whatever you want." And then Paula dances while Nicole sings her swan song. And the other girls rush the stage to hug Nicole.

TIME FOR ANOTHER BOY TO GO HOME:
Ryan asks the fellas to join him on stage.

Chris S: Is safe
Phil: Is safe
Jared: Is safe
AJ: Is safe

There's two guys left, SANJAYA vs. RUDY. Ryan says one of them is in the Top 4 guys, and the other is going home. Sanjaya did rather poorly the other night, and Rudy did okay. How could Sanjaya possibly be safe? Because this is Idol, that's how.

Rudy: Is going home.
Sanjaya: Is safe

What the heck? I'm actually surprised. I thought Rudy was going to stick around until Top 12. See how much I know? Sure, I thought Sanjaya would stick around for a couple more weeks, but his performance was definitely the worst of the week. There's NO WAY he should be in the Top 4 guys. Popularity counts, people. Popularity counts.

Simon says, "I can't turn an okay singer into a great singer." Um, is he addressing Rudy or Sanjaya with that remark? Randy tells Rudy, "You've got to find out what you do best...work on getting better." Paula is heartbroken, declaring: "I think Rudy has one of the best vocals...and I'm really, really sad."

ONE FINAL GOOD-BYE:
We look back on Paul, Amy, Nicole, and Rudy's Idol journeys. Gone is Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" and in its place is Chris Daughtry's song "Home." It's not as melancholic or memorable as "Bad Day," but it works. I dig it. What do you think?

Rudy says he wants to go out with a "bang" and he sings "Free Ride" one last time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Okay, so I guessed that Sundance, Nick, Nicole, and Leslie would go home. I'm ONE for THREE. Dialidol.com predicted the bottom four would be Amy, Alaina, Paul, and Nick, so they did better than me, but still only got TWO out of FOUR right.

Antonella and Sundance deserved to go home, but both have been chosen by Vote for the Worst, which means they may be getting a lot more support than they truly deserve and will be sticking around for a couple of weeks, no matter how poorly they do.

NEXT WEEK: There's three days of Idol adding up to FOUR HOURS of Idol madness. The remaining 10 guys and 10 girls sing (Tuesday, Wednesday) and then we have another One-Hour Live Results Show on Thursday.