American Idol: Top 8 Men

(S06E17) As I watched the boys sing tonight, one word kept coming to my mind: BORING. The song choices were odd. The vocals were uninspired. The performances were stiff. Where's the charisma? Where's the stage presence? Where's the much-talked about "It Factor?"

At this stage of competition, a couple of the guys should be clearly pulling ahead and wowing us with their stand-out performances. But even tonight's best performers were clearly lacking "Star Quality."

Simon didn't hide his disappointment. And even Paula, who always finds the silver lining, gave a lot of NEGATIVE REVIEWS tonight. You know things are bleak when even Paula can't find something nice to say.

In summing up, Randy and Paula agreed that only four guys SHOULD advance to the Top 12. Simon snarked he'd only advance 3.5 guys to the finals (I'm wondering if half of Sundance still counts as a whole). Overall, one thing became clear tonight -- none of these guys is going to be the next American Idol. And frankly I'd be surprised if any of them make it to the Top 4.

The good news is that tonight's show only lasted ONE hour. That means we got a streamlined Idol show. It was mostly filled by performances, sparing us from too much meaningless Seacrest-banter and other time-fillers.

Individual Performance Recaps:

BLAKE sings "All Mixed Up" by 311 (his favorite band). Randy didn't recognize the song, but loved the way Blake mixed reggae and hip-hop. Paula says he kept her "interest" even though she didn't know the song either. Simon didn't understand a word, but still thinks Blake is an individual, keeping "it current." I am glad someone isn't doing the same old corny ballads or golden oldies we usually hear on Idol, but I wasn't wowed. I really didn't care for it.

SANJAYA, with brand-new straightened "Paula hair" (as Simon calls it), sings John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change." Randy says Sanjaya hasn't been as good since they first saw him. Paula doesn't completely agree with Randy, and gives Sanj a pep talk about raising his game, and trying harder. Simon says it wasn't as ghastly as last week (although I personally beg to differ and think John Mayer might too). He also says it "wasn't a very good vocal" and wonders if Sanjaya's hair is what's keeping him in the competition.

SUNDANCE sings "Jeremy." Randy thinks there were problems, but likes that Sundance put a Southern Rock stamp on Pearl Jam. Paula thinks he got into his "Sundance groove" midway through and "pulled it off." Simon didn't like him as much as last week and says Sundance shouted the entire song, sounding like a "generic bar singer." I just thought it was very stiff.

CHRIS R begins his song sitting on a stool which isn't a good sign. Whenever they sit on the stool, we're in for a boring ballad. He sings "Tonight I Wanna Cry" (which sums up my mood watching the show). Randy likes that Chris took a chance and sang a Keith Urban song, showing that he's "in it to win it." Paula thinks Chris picked a good song and liked his intonation. Simon thinks it's "good ... and cutesy, but a bit nasally ... a bit timid and safe ... but you sold it." I personally didn't "buy it."

JARED sings Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me" and it starts off fast and upbeat ... slows down ... then gets fast again. Overall, it's as colorless and drab as the argyle sweater he's wearing. Randy calls it a "solid performance." Paula actually gives a BAD REVIEW. She thinks Jared needs to "color up the way he sings." She doesn't make complete sense but Simon says he "knows amazingly what Paula is trying to say, because it wasn't very original." Simon is overall disappointed that he isn't hearing "Wow Factor" tonight. I'm disappointed with you Simon, because all I'm hearing is the "Bow Wow Factor."

BRANDON sings "I Just Want to Celebrate." Randy loves the song, thinks it's a good choice, but says Brandon messed up the timing at the end. Still he calls it "solid." Paula calls it "pretty phenomenal." Simon, like me, is disappointed. Simon apparently has high hopes for Brandon, but doesn't think he chose a memorable song this week. And for this reason, Simon says he's nervous for Brandon. I think Brandon looks great on stage and should star in a Gap commercial, but I'm still underwhelmed by his weekly performances.

PHIL begins to sing Lee Ann Rimes "I Need You" and, as usual, has a tough time STARTING the song -- so much so that it takes me two minutes to recognize what the heck he's singing. Yes, he does some nice stuff at the end, finally finding his comfort zone, but the rest of the song is a mess. Randy thinks it's "an interesting song choice" but doesn't like Brandon's low register. Paula agrees that Phil has a problem with his low register, but thinks his big notes are "beautiful." She calls it an odd song choice, and doesn't think it was his best performance. Simon didn't get it at all. He hated the hat and even Phil's eyes (which Randy points out, Phil can't really change). Simon says, "it was all just insane at the beginning" and a "strange choice of song." And he doesn't think it's good enough at this point in the competition.

CHRIS S sings "Wanna Be Loved." Randy gives Chris the "vocal prize of the night." Paula says it wasn't her favorite performance of his, and tells him to stretch "vocally" and take some risks. In fact, she liked last week's performance better. Simon liked the beginning of the song, but thought Chris shouted in the middle. And although Simon didn't like the song choice, he thinks Chris has potential, and has shown enough so far to advance to the Top 12. Chris apologizes to the judges for "not bringing it." Wow, where did the funny, cocky Chris Sligh go?

Also on tonight's show, the contestants revealed somewhat unrevealing secrets:

• Blake likes improv, character acting and Halloween.
• Sanjaya can hula.
• Sundance is thin in real life (it's a joke, ha ha).
• Chris R played football in college and was chunkier.
• Jared played Division II college basketball.
• Brandon is a classically-trained piano player.
  
• Phil used to have hair -- long hair.
• Chris Sligh had short hair (jokes about looking bald like Phil Stacey).
  

Oh yeah, and Randy Jackson is producing Travis Tritt's next album. We know that because Travis was in the audience and talked about it with Ryan.

So who stays and who goes? I think JARED and PHIL may be going home. What do you think?

Go over to AOL, to Rank the Guys.

Tomorrow: Top 8 Girls

Thursday: Carrie Underwood performs and there will be a big announcement (please let it be that FIVE guys are being sent home).