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August 1, 2014

What TV can teach us: Christianity - VIDEOS

by Adam Finley, posted Mar 24th 2007 4:02PM

jesusThis is the first in a 376-part series* in which I try to better myself, and in turn better the rest of you, by turning to the font of information known as television, courtesy of this other font of information known as the internet.

It is my belief that everything we need to know can be learned from television. We have relied too heavily on books for too long, and it's time we stopped reading and started accepting everything TV tells us.

Today, let us all learn about Christianity, one of the three Abrahamic religions along with Judaism and Islam:

As Night Ranger clearly sings in their song, "Sister Christian": Motor Trend, what's your price for flies? I've been told this is not actually what the band is singing, but those people don't have my trained ear, which can not only hear words no one else can, but can also hear words people aren't really saying. I'm not sure what this tells us about Christianity, so maybe we should start simple:

Christianity is rife with symbolism, allegory and metaphor, which makes it difficult to wrap one's brain around. This episode of Super Chicken --possibly the most religious show ever next to Davey and Goliath and The Flying Nun-- demonstrates how Christians must do what they can to help their local church raise money (the bunny borrows money from the bank) while thwarting those who try to stop us from expressing our religious convictions: the titular Super Chicken, clearly a metaphor for secular humanism.

Fred Rogers, as many of you know, was a Presbyterian minister, and while his show was never overtly religious, it certainly lived by a code of love, honor, family and friendship. This clip appears to be about Donkey Kong, but pay close attention: Mario is a carpenter (Jesus) climbing a building to rescue his agnostic girlfriend from Donkey Kong (evolution). I think the barrels are filled with copies of The Origin of Species.

So what have we learned? We've learned that Christianity is a complex religion that only television can truly explain, and that Jesus eventually became an Italian plumber. The brief time you took to watch these videos has now instilled you with all you need to know to teach Sunday School. You're welcome.

*or until I grow bored with the concept.

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8 Comments

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TomB

Hi nick. I wondered if you'd see that.

You continue to surprise me on so many levels. :-)

March 26 2007 at 1:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
erroneous_nick

I can if you want me to TomB, you know I like a good fight (or even a dirty one). Talking trash about somebody's home is fightin' words fella!

March 25 2007 at 11:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
TomB

I thought sure erroneous_nick was going to throw a hissy-fit about this post.

He's from Baton Rouge, you know. It doesn't get any redder than that. LOL

March 25 2007 at 3:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
malren

Nicely done. Funny without tearing down the faith. If anyone complains, we'll know who has the stick up their whoozits.

March 24 2007 at 5:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
ladi

I loved it. Although I must say that I think "Moral Orel" is a tad more Christian than "Super Chicken".

March 24 2007 at 5:01 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
erroneous_nick

That was informative, enlightening and hilarious all at the same time! The most important thing I learned today was what the hell Night Ranger was singing. That's been bugging me for decades.

March 24 2007 at 4:49 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Adam Finley

Let's not prejudge, B.

March 24 2007 at 4:32 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Borat

Oh noes. Here come all the "why are you criticizing Christianity" people.

March 24 2007 at 4:21 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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