(S32E16) I know nothing about football. I know nothing about Peyton Manning. He's an athlete, right? Okay. I didn't expect much from him, since the majority of sports-related guests of the past have done poorly. To my surprise, Peyton did relatively well. I think this was partially due to the fact that the writing did not demand too much from him. Although this was a smart move to not make Peyton look like an idiot, it resulted in a mediocre episode.

Cold Open ("Message from the President"): This was funny, but not a particularly strong opening. The way Fred Armisen kind of squished his face gave him an uncanny resemblance to Alberto Gonzalez, though. Weird.

Monologue: Throughout the entire family introduction, I was waiting for one of the SNL players to stand up and do a joke, but I guess Peyton was really trying to be sweet. This was a very, very straightforward monologue. A little sports joke here, a little sports joke there, just to excite the football-lovers in the place.



"Peyton Manning and Kids": Haha, I found this hilarious... but then again, I'm a sadistic psychomaniac.

"Bronx Beat": I still fail to find this really funny, but others seem to enjoy it. Not my cup of tea, I suppose. More footage of kids getting hit with footballs, please!

"ESPN's NCAA Tournament Pool Party": I think the whole reason why they did this sketch in the first place was as an excuse to do those jabs at Peyton. What a good sport that guy is.

"Penelope": Oh, my God. I know a Penelope -- no, I know multiple Penelopes.

"Saturday TV Funhouse: Maraka": This was such a wonderfully weird take on Dora the Explorer. My favorite lines included "Can you tell me how to check for a hernia?" and "Can you tell me if this person's a girl or a guy?" and "Do you know why my father left me?" I also loved the existentialist touch at the end.



"Locker Room": This was good, light-hearted fun. Peyton's dance out of the room was quite adorable.

"Weekend Update": Senator Tim Calhoun! We haven't seen this fellow in ages. That voice gets me every time. I've made that "Jack Abramoff? I hardly know Abram" joke! Now I'm going to have to stop doing it because it's been on TV. Sigh. There was a problem with the "Zoo News" bit. Fact-check, kids! It wasn't a sloth that was euthanized, Seth, it was a sloth bear. Huge difference. Also, I'm probably a little late in noticing this, but every time that they need to start doing a news piece that will be interrupted by a skit, like in the American Idol bit (Dan Akroyd cameo!), they start talking about a tree frog study.

"300": Oh, come on. I can't believe they devoted an entire sketch to that one joke. They must have been desperate to fill time.



"Coffee on the Porch": Despite the fact that this was pretty much a straight-forward sit-down recitation of jokes, I liked it because of its weirdness.

"Mercedes 550": A meatloaf oven in a car? What a random commercial to make. I didn't really care for it.

"Nike Air Force One": I like to think that all of the SNL boys really play basketball like that.

Carrie Underwood: Her music's not really my scene, but I think she did okay. What was that gold, metallic thing she was wearing? Was it an obscenely short skort? Or a headband?

April 14: Host Shia LaBeouf! Ahh! I'm so excited! I used to watch him all the time when he was on the Disney Channel's Even Stevens. As for musical guest Avril Lavigne, I've never been a fan. Actually, I kind of hate her. Actually, I kind of started bleeding from the ears when I saw her name. Actually, I kind of want to kill myself.