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Dancing With The Stars: Week 5 Results

by Erin Martell, posted Apr 17th 2007 11:30PM

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough(S04E09) After three weeks of watching women get sent home, it was about time that a male contestant got the boot. Samantha mentioned that the show has reached its midpoint, and it is time to get rid of the lackluster dancers and focus on the real contenders. I have a feeling that the next few eliminations will be as predictable as this week's.

As many fans guessed, the judges chose Apolo and Julianne for the encore performance this evening. The couple's Samba was called the dance of the season. No arguments here. Apolo and Julianne's performance was just as exciting and sexy as it was last night, and it was great to see it again.

The contestants are set to perform the Swing and the Jive next week, so the pros came out to demonstrate the Swing style of dance. Alec, Edyta, Louis, Cheryl, Brian, Julianne, and another pair I didn't recognize danced to "Zoot Suit Riot" by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. The performance reminded me of those old Gap commercials, except it didn't make me want to buy a pair of khakis. I wish there had been more professional performances during this results show. It was a little slow for my taste.

Backstage, Samantha interviewed Heather, Joey, and Apolo. Heather discussed what happened with her fall last night, and Samantha made a bizarre comment about how gracefully she got back on her feet. Yes, Samantha, Heather's ability to recover her balance was the talk of the message boards. After a brief interview with Kym's gigantic cleavage, Joey showed off his bunny slippers. Way to man up, Joey. They can't call you feminine now. Apolo and Julianne were still incredibly grateful for their perfect score last night. I think it's impossible to say anything bad about this couple, buy why would you want to?

A few celebrities in the audience weighed in on last night's performances. Florence Henderson called Apolo a "hot number," and got choked up over Heather's fall. Only Mrs. Brady could have such genuine sympathy for Heather Mills--good for her! Sugar Ray Leonard naturally supported Laila Ali and Maksim. Lance Bass gave Joey a little grief, joking that Joey needs a "kick in the pants" every once in a while. The audience comments marked Clyde and Billy Ray as the bottom two this week, and they were half right.

The first two couples saved from elimination were Laila & Maksim and John & Edyta. This was a big surprise, especially for John. He seemed happy to be returning, and his fellow contestants were happy for him. So much for my bottom two trend prediction! This meant that there would be a fresh pair of celebs in the bottom two. Cue dramatic music.

Former contestant Lisa Rinna will be playing Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago, alongside Harry Hamlin. Lisa showed up tonight to perform a song from the musical, proving that she is, at the very least, a good dancer. I might not pay money to hear her sing, though. But I love Lisa Rinna and wish her well. Afterwards, Samantha talked to John and Laila. John was truly humbled to be returning, and had the class to ask permission to mention his book. This was a welcome change after all of Billy Ray's shameless self-promotion. Laila complimented Apolo's performance and vowed to get a 10 of her own.

Jimmy Kimmel's demonstration was mildly amusing. I liked the random detail of having Jennifer Lopez's signature include a heart over the "i." After that, the show really started to go south. Macy Gray performed. No dancing. A segment on makeup. Snooze. I was amazed that the women's makeup takes about three to three-and-a-half hours to apply but that was the only memorable factoid. Apolo & Julianne and Joey & Kym were put on the safe list.

The stars got to give their opinions of the judges' comments, and the responses were pretty tame. Billy Ray expressed his desire to get an 8 before he goes home. Reach for the sky, Billy Ray. Ian & Cheryl and Billy Ray & Karina were spared the shame of the bottom two. The bottom two was a mixed bag; Clyde was a no-brainer, but Heather? I did not see that coming. It could have been the backlash from the fall, or perhaps the novelty has worn off. People wanted to see her mess up, and she did. Now that certain audience members have gotten what they wanted, will she continue to get votes? Only time will tell, since Clyde & Elena were sent home.

4 RatingClyde took his elimination with good humor, like the nice guy that he is. He even submitted to Heather's pageant-like hand-holding during the announcement. I'm just glad that he went out gracefully. Judging from Billy Ray's embarrassing pelvic thrust, his elimination will be slightly less classy. No major upsets this week, and the show itself was a little low on entertainment value. All in all, I would give this episode a 4 out of 7. The producers have Macy Gray to thank for that score.

Check back next week for Brett's review of the Jive and Swing performances. Be sure to vote for your favorite celebrity dancer in AOL's poll!

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Last season I patiently watched every week for Joey Lawrence to finally show us his perky pecs...and then the studio read my mind and gave me an older glance at Billy Ray and his equally chilly nips...love their legs, but keep the air on!

July 05 2007 at 6:29 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

My husband and I didn't know who Macy Gray was until we watched her on Dancing with the Stars. Wow, we were totally enchanted. We are now great fans of hers and went immediately to buy her new cd and her "Very Best" cd also. I don't know how we could have missed such an inspiring performer (and she's an actress too!). She's awesome!!

May 14 2007 at 12:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bonnie Harris

Joey's bunny slippers are from the cutest company, Barefoot Parties. I think that's the only place you can order that exact pair. www.barefootparties.com

April 26 2007 at 1:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Joey stole the show with his smooth moves and the bunny slippers. What a great dancer and all around sweetheart! It's Joey & Kim all the way!!!

April 20 2007 at 9:57 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

As you might say, Anne R, it's about the dancing, not your honeymoon fantasies.

I'll miss Billy Ray too. Guess I don't have enough prison exercise yards in my neighbourhood.

April 19 2007 at 1:09 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Anne R

I agree with everyone that the judges are being very harsh on Ian. Saying abiguous and intangible things like, "you need to breathe" and "you need to open up". What the heck do those statements mean? How can you tell if someone is or isn't breathing correctly? They don't want him/Cheryl to win. That's it. Ian and Cheryl have danced much better than Joey and Kim and certainly Heather and Jonathan, and others, but not received even a mention, let alone the proper score. They were great two weeks ago when the judges thought he "misstepped" Baloney. Let's all vote Heather off next week....please. Show the darn judges what we think of them and her. And also, it's about dancing, not a man's nipples. Billy Ray last Monday looked like he had just come in from the exercise yard at the state prison. And of course, Carrie Anne loved it....that's why he showed his tatoos and nipples. I love John Ratzenberger. I'd like to go on a honeymoon with him.

April 18 2007 at 11:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

There's something a trifle brittle about Ian, along with hints that he thinks he's far better than he actually is. And I suppose I simply can't get past his strong physical resemblance to Leslie Howard's ever-so-drab "Ashley" character in "Gone with the Wind" (what Scarlett saw in him I'll never understand).

As for the rest of this season's assemblage: I must confess I do so miss the light-heartedness and theatricality provided by O'Herley, Hamilton and, yes, even Springer -- sadly, dear old pudgy John just doesn't come remotely close, despite being a comic actor by trade.

Billy Ray has got to go, but I will miss his Dixie hound-dog charm, and the way his tiny perfect nipples poke through his shirts.

Heather just isn't an interesting personality to watch, at all, and the same really has to be said about Joey, though he is clearly the far better dancer of the two. I guess I can't stop comparing poor, sweet, ordinary Joey to my magnetic mambo muscle-man, Mario. Oh, how I do wish he would return for one, last, hip-thrusting encore.

In the end, it's all really going to come down to Laila and Apolo.

At her best, Miss Ali is a sizzling temptress: think Rita Hayward in "Gilda". At her worst: think domineering drag queen in South Beach.

As for Apolo, he started off as a young Mickey Rooney reborn. But with this week's Samba -- the goat-bearded boy had me positively drooling in my silk slippers! That is one HOT little morsel of male pulchritude.

April 18 2007 at 8:03 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Please get the judges to quit sleeping and feeling sorry for Heather. She enter this as a contestant and needs to live up to qualifications or go home. they let her slide when she fell but they didnt let Ian slide for his misstep at end . totally unjust and unfair. Makes me wonder about this show now.

April 18 2007 at 2:08 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have been watching dancing with the stars since it started for the life of me i do not understand the judges. yes it is great that heather is doing as good as she is with her handicap but i see the judges letting a lot of things slip by with her which is unfair in of itself. you gave Ian bad reviews the other week for a misstep at the end how is it fair to not give it to Heather for falling. this is definitely an unjust scoring policy and unfair program right now. I think everyone can see this and it would not surprise me if she didnt win because so may things have been left to slide and w3ho in gods name dresses her.

April 18 2007 at 2:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Time for Hop Along Heather to GO NEXT!!!

April 18 2007 at 1:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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