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October 9, 2015

Five more reasons not to turn your TV off during 'TV Turnoff Week'

by Richard Keller, posted Apr 24th 2007 9:12AM

It's TV Turnoff Week again.Welcome to TV Squad Lists, a feature where each blogger has a chance to list his or her own rundown of things in television that stand out from the rest, both good and bad.

Last year, at about this time, I presented you with five relevant reasons not to turn off your televisions during TV Turnoff Week. Well, as Bob mentioned, that week is upon us once again . . . whether we like it or not. So, as I'm short on fresh ideas, let me rehash last year's concept with five more reasons why you shouldn't be turning off the idiot box.

Sanjaya's gone from American Idol: Do you hear that roaring noise? That's the sound of all the Idol purists celebrating that Sanjaya is now gone from their show. This means that they can now get back down to business in choosing who will be the next winner of an exclusive recording contract. Of course, while that finalist will record and receive a good deal of money he or she will probably fade into the background. In the meanwhile, Sanjaya will probably win the Nobel Peace Prize sometime in the near future. I wonder what hairstyle he'll wear during the award presentation?

Regis is coming back to Live with Regis & Kelly on Thursday: Admit it, you're a closet Regis and Kelly fan. I know you've snuck a minute or two of the show in before you left for work just to see if Regis has aged any (I know, you really did it becuase you think Kelly Ripa is HOT. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.). Now, after being gone from the show for several weeks due to triple-bypass surgery, iron-man Reege is returning to the show this Thursday morning. If you turn off your TV you will miss this momentous occasion, which is right up there with the Watergate hearings and the Apollo moon landing.

You'd be missing some really good TV: Seriously, not everything on television today is crap. If you turn off TV this week, just as we are heading into the May sweeps (why the hell do they schedule this week of no TV at this time anyway?) you are going to miss plenty of good stuff. First, there's the terrific story that is going on in FX's The Shield, another contestant elimination on both American Idol and Dancing With the Stars and the season 1 finale of 30 Rock (which has gotten stronger each week), Plus, MyNetwork broadcasts the Miss Hawaiian Tropic International Beauty Pageant. Now how can you miss that?

Heather Mills might lose her leg this week: Look, I know that you are all caring, sensitive people who help old ladies across the street, donate to charities, and free butterflies from spider webs. But, I also know that you're all just dying to see Heather Mills fake leg go flying through the air during this week's Dancing With the Stars broadcast. If you don't watch TV this week and it happens, you're probably going to be very upset when everyone asks you 'Did you see Heather Mills leg go flying into the crowd last night?'

Finally, the last reason why you should not turn off your TV this week . . .

You won't be able to send comments to Bob Sassone on how much you despise him: Oh, wait, you could do that even if you had the television off. Never mind.

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If this TV Turnoff group wants to be takens seriously, they need to pick another week from the calendar - instead of the first week of May sweeps.

It's like asking people to not go to shopping in December, or to not buy candy in October.

If they want to feel like they're making an impact, they should pick the week immediately AFTER May sweeps, when viewership goes into the toilet because of summer reruns.

April 24 2007 at 11:52 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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