Ten things you need to be a TV geek
Welcome to TV Squad Lists, a feature where each blogger has a chance to list his or her own rundown of things in television that stand out from the rest, both good and bad.
Everywhere I go, young people ask me the same question, "How did you finish that whole sandwich in one sitting?" Then, when we're all done laughing, they ask me how they can become a TV expert like myself. So, as a favor to you aspiring Dukes and Duchesses, here are ten things you need to be a TV Geek.
1. At least one TV over 40 inches
Not all homes are built to accommodate a flat screen or a rear projection TV, if this is the situation in your house ... move.
2. At least one TiVo or Replay TV
I prefer the TiVo and now anyone can get a TiVo absolutely free, so if you don't have one, we're not friends. Nothing personal.
3. At least two VCR's
Even though Digital recorders have changed the way we watch TV, sometimes you need to share your favorites; that's what videotape is for.
4. A videotape filled with episodes of a show that only you enjoy
For me, it's Bosom Buddies. Six hours of Bosom Buddies.
5. A recliner
I don't care if it vibrates, rocks, swivels, or dispenses beer, if it can't hold a decent butt groove, it's worthless.
6. A TV small enough to take anywhere
I have a ten-inch that fits perfectly in the front seat of my car and plugs into my cigarette lighter.
7. 'Total Television' by Alex McNeil
Although, in serious need of an update, this is the best reference guide for television ever written.
8. Digital cable or a satellite.
It really comes down to personal preference, the main thing is that you get every channel possible, whether you watch them or not.
9. Two or more biographies by TV personalities that shouldn't have been written
Among others, I own David Cassidy's, 'C'mon Get Happy' and Adam West's, 'Back to the Batcave' and I've read them both.
10. 'Television's Greatest Hits' CDs by Tee Vee Toons
This seven CD set includes some of the best and worst TV theme songs ever written. There is nothing like driving in your car listening to the theme from Mannix.