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America's Next Top Model: The Girl Who Does Not Want to Dance
(S08E11) It seems like only yesterday I began using this space to relentlessly make fun of 13 want-to-be models, and now we find ourselves already down to the final four. I feel a sad, little tear forming in the corner of my eye.
If Brittany were here, she'd probably cry with me.
Four remain. Which one of the girls will become America's Next Top Model?
I never really noticed until the judges mentioned it, but Dionne does seem to scowl a lot in her photos. She looks less like she's trying to model and more like she's trying to intimidate someone into giving her something for free.
Of course, a scowl is nowhere near as bizarre as Natasha Eskimo kissing her cell phone while talking to her "husband," but some may have found that endearing. Yeah, the girl is a little weird, but I've just learned to accept it. Everything this Russian touches seems to turn into Vodka, which is a good thing in my book.
I personally think it was wrong of the other girls to question Natasha's truthfulness regarding the whole hubby and child situation. If unbelievable situations and wild back stories were a television show, yeah, Natasha would be Lost - I get that - but does it really matter?
So she doesn't wear a wedding ring. So her circumstances for arriving in the country are a little strange. Who isn't a little eccentric and different? Jaslene, Dionne, and Renee should be ashamed of themselves. More on Natasha in a second.
I was pretty impressed that Nene was able to come up with an informative yet concise story in such a short amount of time. Sure, I've heard the story a million times before, but it was entertaining nonetheless in the context of the aboriginal dance. She set a pretty high bar for the other girls to try and top.
By contrast, Jaslene came out and basically stood there like a tree telling her story that ended with the phrase "living, loving, and laughing." I threw up a little. The kid who did the solo slow-clap in an unsure manner at the end of Jaslene's performance absolutely slayed me. High comedy.
Dionne had a poor attitude throughout the entire period leading up to the storytelling session, and she pretty much tanked as I anticipated. Natasha had a lackluster showing because she spoke like she had laryngitis during her story despite performing some interesting choreography with foliage pom poms. As a result, Renee winning this challenge was a no-brainer, and she and Jaslene won some beautiful pearls. Lucky girls.
Later on in the show, I was surprised to see Natasha showing physical signs of illness with "the stuff nose and the sore throat." Is this the same girl who had a tooth pulled without anesthetic? Is this the same girl who suffered a third-degree burn on her ear but hardly whimpered? Is this the same girl I imagine wrestling wild Yaks in the Siberian wilderness for pleasure? I figured the flu would be like a paper cut to Natasha. Apparently, I was wrong.
She "fell flat" in the photo shoot to use the words of Jay Manuel. In all honesty, I can't say I blame her too much because when I'm sick with the flu, all I want to do is sleep. Of course, as a non-model dude, I have that luxury.
Like Renee and later Tyra said, "plenty of models have shown up for shoots sick and still came out with good photos." It's a shame Natasha wasn't able to pull off a decent shot despite her illness. She'd been so consistent the last half of the season.
Natasha was absolutely destroyed during the judging portion of the show by her peers and by the judges; however, she pulled out the big guns with her responses. I thought her saying she was still friends with the other girls despite them obliterating her was classy. I also found the "Gisele" comment and the "it's better to be talked about than not noticed" comment clever. This spunky little Russian never fails to come out on top in a war of words, and it's admirable.
I'm relieved Wholahay-that's-good-that's-good-can-I-have-this-bathing-suit was given the old heave-ho. Especially since she seemed to shun Natasha's embrace when learning she was going home. Although she ended up hugging Natasha in the end, this stubborn, crappy way of being kind of typified how Dionne has been all season.
She's a pretty girl with a bad attitude, and it's a wonder she made it this far. Tyra and the other judges always tell us "it takes more than just a pretty face to be America's Next Top Model." Dionne definitely fell into the "just a pretty face" category.
So with only one episode left, who of the remaining three do you think has the total package? Lurkers who usually just read this - let it be known in the comments.
I give this episode a 6 on the patented 1-7 TV Squad scale.
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