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October 22, 2014

Jack Bauer Appreciation Day

by Meredith O'Brien, posted May 9th 2007 5:39PM

Blogs4Bauer imageApparently Jack Bauer has been having a rough time of it.

In the last 21 hours, he: Has been released from Chinese custody where he was tortured for months on end, learned that not only was his brother evil but he's now dead (after he tortured him), learned that his father is evil, learned that his beloved girlfriend was also tortured in China after being abducted while on the hunt for him, blew a plan that wound up giving his Chinese captors Russian defense technology and had to violate direct presidential orders, thus getting himself arrested.

And, to top it all off, 24's critics and fans have been dumping on him.

So the folks at Blogs4Bauer decided to soothe Jack's battered soul and declare today Jack Bauer Appreciation Day.

They suggest that, in honor of the intrepid terrorist hunter, his fans should:

1. Give someone your word that you'll do something.

2. Commandeer a vehicle.

3. Whisper (you know, in that husky, menacing Jack way, unless, of course he's speaking to a member of the fairer sex who's not a terrorist, then his whisper is on the softer side).

4. Scream, although your outburst must start with, "Dammit!"

5. Boycott Chinese food today.

However I think they're missing a few items. I'd add, 1) Look lovestruck as you gently caress someone's cheek 2) Demand that someone "patch" you through to someone and 3) Angrily shut off your cell phone.

That about covers it.

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Instead of boycotting Chinese food, boycott the critics whining about the excessive torture. Particularly the lady (can't remember her name) who wrote that hit piece in New Yorker.

May 09 2007 at 9:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
BartmanDK

Hehe yeah 2) on your list is defintly missing from the other blogs list :D

May 09 2007 at 6:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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