Seven signs that it's time for your show to go

The entire cast turns over
Did you start watching ER because you became weak in the knees at the sight of George Clooney, respected Anthony Edwards' stoicism, or wanted Juliana Margulies to take care of you when you were sick? That's why I started watching (except for the Clooney / weak knees thing, of course). But now I look up and notice that the only people left from the original cast are nurses Chuny and Malik. Even the ER itself has been remodeled once or twice. Same goes with Law & Order: playing a detective on that show is a less stable job than being a hockey coach.

Your favorite period show stops caring about fashions and hairstyles
Do you remember what Happy Days looked like in its last few years? By that time, Joanie, Chachi, Fonzie, and company were supposed to be living in the early '60s. But I saw so much feathered hair and so many Izod polos, I was starting to wonder if they didn't fast forward the timeframe by twenty years. Heck, I was surprised the producers didn't put the Fonz in a Members Only leather jacket. Same goes with M*A*S*H: by that show's end, Mike Farrell had a '70s porn mustache and Loretta Swit had a platinum-blond 'do that was closer to Farah Fawcett than Marilyn Monroe.

The star of your show comes back with a new face
Did you stop believing Roseanne Barr's performance as a lower-middle class "domestic goddess" when she showed up for her show's fifth season with a smoother, decidedly un-jowly appearance? Yeah, me too. It was like we were watching a different person play Roseanne Conner, one that looked more like she should be living in L.A. than Lanford, IL.

Your show adds a cute kid to the cast
This is one of the more well-documented signs, usually referred to as "The Cousin Oliver Syndrome." To the young'uns out there, Cousin Oliver was the cute little tyke that the producers of The Brady Bunch added to the show when Bobby and Cindy, the youngest kids, hit puberty and stopped being cute. I guess the '90s equivalent could be called "The Olivia Syndrome," when a tiny Raven-Symone was added to The Cosby Show when Rudy started sprouting a whispy 'stache (Keshia Knight Pulliam got her revenge though; look at her now!). There are plenty of examples of this, from added cast members (Sam on Diff'rent Strokes) to babies that all of a sudden became four-year-olds (Andy Keaton on Family Ties).

A completely untalented hack wins a reality talent contest
The Sanjaya Scare taught millions of American Idol fans that their show can be compromised by determined fans bent on showing how silly the whole process is. As it is, there are theories abounding that everyone's favorite teenage warbler was pushed out not by the viewers but by the producers. You know that at some point a radio shock jock is going to enter one of their own candidates and ask their listeners to vote for the person no matter how bad he or she is (it's too bad Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf is no longer with us; he'd be perfect).

Your show is on the renewal bubble and there are only three internet petitions to save it
Why do people continue to think that internet petitions are an effective tool in saving a show? No one reads them, and I'm pretty sure network executives think that those petitions are managed and signed by kooks. But people still make them; Veronica Mars alone has had a few dozen "Save our show" petitions created for it over the last year or so. But if your show only generates enough interest for a couple of sparsely-signed petitions, you know it's in deep trouble, especially if those petitions are signed by people like "I.P. Freely" and "Mike Hunt."

Your show hired Ted McGinley
With apologies to Mr. McGinley, but it's been well-documented that he's been the Angel of Death to many shows, from The Love Boat to Happy Days to Sports Night. However, people who say he killed off Married, With Children are being unfair, since he was there for the show's last seven seasons. And Hope & Faith wasn't his fault either. Maybe "Your show hired Kelly Ripa" will be on the list in a few years.