Sixteen people going to prison who aren't Paris Hilton

Since I write about the TV industry, it's impossible for me to avoid this whole "Paris Hilton prison thing" no matter how hard I try.

According to a recent report, Hilton is "distraught" about serving her sentence. I'm not quite sure why that's news. It seems to me that every single person ever sentenced to prison was probably pretty upset about it. If the headline had read, "Paris Hilton Thrilled About Going to Prison," that would be something worth reading, I would imagine. I'd certainly stop and pick up that issue in the checkout lane.

At any rate, it's difficult to avoid news like this, so in case you were unwittingly mired in the media saturation surrounding the Simple Life star, I thought I'd take this moment to remind you that, in addition to Ms. Hilton, about seventy-kazillion other people were also sentenced to prison terms recently. Here's a list of just a few you might not have heard about, as none of these people were spotted recently with Lindsay Lohan:

Paul H. Jones

Robert Chillinsky

Chad Neal

John Cory Brown III

Derek Barnstable

James "Pigeon" Ducre

Stefan Prince

William F. Sorin

Tran Quoc Hien

Justin C. Helton

Deborah S. O'Brien

James Lynn Anderson

Kenneth William Fawcett

Frank Diener

Daniel M. Shields Jr.

Patricia Sharon Ply