Smallville: Phantom (season finale)
by Kevin Kelly, posted May 17th 2007 10:40PM
(S06E22) It's finale time! Were you ready for the wham-bam-in-your-face-here's-what's-basically-happened-on Smallville this year? There was a lot going on in those few minutes, holy moley. It's like a capsule-sized dose of Smallville, now with a Kryptonite coating and in a convenient gel form.
The one thing that impressed me most about the opening was ... damn, they should give Martian Manhunter his own show. It'd fit right in with the whole CW love for strange Supernatural goings on. Just picture it now, "Tonight, on a very special Manhunter Chronicles." I'd totally watch that. Before too long they'll have the entire DC slate on their network.
How good was it to see John Schneider back, even if it was just a photo? Ever since he left the show the whole story with Clark and his mom has just gone way downhill. I never bought the whole Martha Kent as a senator thing, and I still don't. Does anyone? Maybe if I saw her arguing a case on the senate floor, or doing something senatorial, but all she seems to do is pop up when Clark needs a pat on the back or some motherly wisdom.
So, just to try to balance out the record since the Titan episode: Lex apparently created both Titan and Ares from material (peptides? peptodes? pepto bismol?) found inside people who had been hosts to "phantoms" from the Phantom Zone. Am I missing something there? Now Lex wants a live phantom to serve as the source for his continuing Ares project ... still sound right? It's been puzzling to follow, but I think I have the gist of it. Although if I see one more shot of Lex opening up that window and gazing at his precious army like he's peeking through an Easy-Bake oven, who knows what I'll do.
Lionel Luthor, emissary of Jor-El? Martian Manhunter working with Lionel? That's about the point my head started to spin. Then when Lex smacked Lana, I kept waiting for her to bust out her karate moves and kick his ass. Instead she says, "That's the last time you'll ever touch me." Then she tries to leave and Lex ... touches her. Come ON Lana, you just gave him a pretty good threat. Now it's time to deliver. Hiiii-yah! Just pull a Benny Hill on that bald head of his and be done with it. You've let me down, girl. I thought you'd grown tough enough to go toe to toe with your jerk of a husband. Turns out I was wrong, very wrong.
Remember one of those "Someone's gonna die on Smallville?" rumors? Will, they did a really good job of keeping you guessing who it was gonna be. Lois = stabbed with a wicked huge knife (okay, we know it's not her), Lana = apparently blown up, Chloe = apparently the sacrificial lamb, Lionel = trapped under some rubble and possibly dead ... so who was it? Looks like we'll have a long time to speculate and find out between now and next year.
My take on it? Well, that mail truck mysteriously happened to pass in front of Lionel's view for a moment, giving someone or something plenty of time to get Lana out of there. Chloe? Well, I think we've found out what her mysterious power is: tears that heal things but kill yourself. What a power to have. That'd be like, a one-shot comic book. THE AMAZING CHLOE! Come and see her ... oh, she's dead. Yes, I don't really think she's dead, but I think The CW wants to keep us guessing. Plus like many of you readers out there, I too will be pretty cheesed if they kill off Allison Mack. As annoying as I used to find her, she won me over with her wisecracks, can-do attitude, and then sparkly smile. Damn you, Mack!
So, let's talk about the coolest thing in this episode, and the one that kicked it into 7 territory for me ... Bizarro Clark. Did you notice how his color scheme was the opposite of regular Clark's? He wore a blue jacket and had a red shirt on, how bizarre! Their super fight should have come a lot earlier in the episode, and been more spectacular. Now we'll have to wait until next season to see what happens in round two. Although it was fairly cool seeing Clark get punched out through the side of that dam (Reeves Dam, didja notice?). Ouch! I still don't know what made Clark's face turn into the "Bizarro" looking angular face sported in the comic books, think they'll tell us next season?
So, we have quite awhile until Smallville graces the airwaves with new episodes. What are you hoping to see next year? Plus, are you ready for Smallville to come to an end yet? Does it feel like it's time? Let us know.
Quote of the show:
Clark to Bizarro Clark: "What are you?"
Bizarro-Clark: "I'm you. Just a little more ... bizarre."
|1 - Worst||8 (1.2%)|
|7 - Best||422 (60.7%)|