On The Lot: 18 Directors Compete

(S01E03) New host, new show format, and a new time slot on a new night. If I didn't recognize the judges and the directors, I wouldn't have even realized I was watching On The Lot this week.

Call me crazy, but they should have gone with this American Idol like format from the get go. After watching tonight's episode, the shows from last week feel even more disjointed from the series.

I'm afraid that the plodding, "me-too-reality-show" that was portrayed last week probably turned more people off the show than anything. It's a shame too, because this week the pace really started picking up, and we got to see what the show truly has to offer.

Namely, a great bunch of films from a great bunch of directors. Well, mostly great films from mostly great directors. Click on for a walk through of 18 one-minute comedy shorts from 18 good and not so good up-and-coming directors.

Since the producers of this series think 18 people is just the right amount to keep up with (for the record it's still way too many), I'm going to have to shoot through these semi-rapidly.

We'll start with the director, the film title, and a snippet about the director. Then we'll move into a brief synopsis of the film and what the judges and my highly unqualified, but extremely judgmental ass had to say. Today's genre was comedy.

# 1 - Adam Stein - Dance Man
Adam left Harvard Law School to make movies after realizing he didn't want to be a lawyer.

Synopsis: A man who communicates purely through dancing leads a pretty lonely life until he meets his soul mate who also communicates through dancing.

Carrie - Found it charming and optimistic.
D.J. - Thought it stood very well on its own and that it was a great comedy piece.
Garry - Said Adam did in a minute what he has trouble doing in a full movie. Liked it a lot.

I so wanted to say this guy was a fool for leaving what would surely be a lucrative career in law for a pipe-dream of sorts, but his movie was actually very entertaining. The actor did an excellent job of selling the film's premise. Nice start to the show.

# 2 - Carolina - Deliver Me
Tries to bring truth and beauty into the work she does.

Synopsis: Dark comedy about a woman giving birth and trying to keep up with her every day busy life at the same time.

Carrie - Thought it was terrific.
D.J. - Found it very topical and thought Carolina did a great job.
Garry - Thought it was hip, modern, and good.

I can completely relate to the idea that technology has taken a hold of all aspects of life. However, I found this short suffered from a a case of information overload. There was a whole lot going on and it just didn't go over that well with me. I totally disagreed with the judges on this one.

#3 - Andrew Hunt - Spaced Out
Back home he's a big fish small pond. In LA he's a guppy in an ocean.

Synopsis: Cop pulls over a UFO with some intergalactic beer drinking aliens.

Carrie - Said Andrew managed to make an alien barf. Did what George Lucas couldn't do because she'd have loved to see Yoda throw up.
D.J. - Accomplished goal of making a one minute comedy short. He laughed the entire time.
Garry - Aliens were perfectly cast. Barfing on authority figure is always good for a laugh. Good job.

I went back and viewed this one a few more times on the old PVR because my wife and I found it absolutely hysterical. Zach is probably known as the special effects dude, but Andrew did a pretty nice job with the UFO himself. One of my favorite films of the night.

# 4 - Kenny - Wack Alley Cab
Love for film making came from watching skateboarding videos.

Synopsis: Guy who watched skateboarding videos and decided to become a director makes a movie to trick the audience into thinking someone spiked their adult beverage with a hallucinogenic.

Carrie - It had a great look but don't know what you were going for. It didn't quite succeed. It didn't make me laugh.
D.J. - Looked like a spoof on a late night show. What was funny to you wasn't funny to me and the audience.
Garry - So far out no one is out there with you. Understood the shots, but maybe it went over my head.

Did someone slip some peyote in my Shiner Bock? Watching this made me feel like I was having a seizure. Wack is right. Bye Kenny.

# 5 - Hilary - Bus #1
Stay at home mom, felt something was missing from life and became a film maker.

Synopsis: Lady really has to pee during a long bus ride.

Carrie - Felt a little disappointed because she went with urine. Expected better knowing Hilary's other work.
D.J. - Did not like the concept.
Garry - All in all not your best work.

I think the final shot shouldn't have been a guy smelling this ladies urine (absolutely disgusting), but maybe should have been of a thirsty jogger finding it the cup on the side of the road and contemplating drinking it, which would have been over-the-top grotesque. If you're going to take it to a level of "sick", you may as well go all the way. Either way, I still think this one was a stinker. I wish I had two more hands so I could give this film four thumbs down.

# 6 - Marty - The Big Bad Heist
Sent a sequel to Jurassic Park to Steven Spielberg when he was younger. It was rejected. (And it's a shame too because it was probably better than the real sequel).

Synopsis: Trailer to a heist flick.

Carrie - Well made and easy to look at. Did a good job with the preview.
D.J. - Camera work and cinematography was great. Talent is there.
Garry - No barfing or peeing. Was a good thing. Make a movie next time like we told you.

Didn't Marty do a heist themed movie last week? I can't remember, but if he did, this sure makes him appear a little one dimensional. I also think he kind of copped out by not sticking to the film criteria. That being said, this was a good entertaining trailer. The dudes got skills.

# 7 - Will - Lucky Penny
Wife and two kids. Possibly his last shot at making it big. (Will's pulling for the sympathy vote already).

Synopsis: Guy finds a lucky penny only it isn't so lucky. Mayhem ensues.

Carrie - Like a little silent film. Lovely spirit.
D.J. - Very Buster Keaton like.
Garry - Actor was excellent, and you directed him well. Good job.

Interesting film and kind of cute I suppose. I liked it, just wasn't overwhelmed.

# 8 - Jessica - How to Screw In a Light Bulb
Youngest woman in the competition. Just graduated from film school (NYU).

Synopsis: A bunch of characters think of the best way to screw in a light bulb.

Carrie - Thought it was cute, but didn't completely get it. Would have loved it if she'd gone further than that one room (for the shot).
D.J. - Set a nice initial mood, but it was a poor concept that wasn't executed well. Got a little bit confused.
Garry - Hard to make a metaphor funny. Punchline never happened.

The judges were dead on with their comments. I thought it all looked pretty good, but I couldn't really grasp what exactly Jessica was shooting for. For some reason this reminded me of those asinine sleeping pill commercials with Abe Lincoln and the talking beaver. I don't really get those either.

# 9 - Mateen - Soft
Traded in stresses of Wall Street for movie making.

Synopsis: Friends in an urban setting bust a guys chops because he's "soft". He tries to prove otherwise.

Carrie - Everyone was soft, but had a nice beginning middle and end.
D.J. - Wish neighborhood had more of an edge. Nice story, next time push it forward.
Garry - Kids looked like they were from the chess club. Loved the shot through the mask.

Another fool guy who left guaranteed bank to pursue a dream. I actually find this very respectable and wish I had the boulders to do so myself.

I didn't really think about the friends being soft themselves like all the judges mentioned. I mainly just thought the actors weren't that great, and the concept was a little boring. It was shot well though, and I particularly liked the blurred pantyhose view through the eyes of the perpetrator. Not as good as a lot of the films, but not the worst. Did the judges seem a little "soft" on Mateen?

# 10 - Claudia - Blind Date
From Italy. Has done fashion, art, painting, and drawn comic books - then decided to become a director.

Synopsis: Lady is supposed to meet blind date at a bar. Meets several people but never finds him. Goes to a strange co-ed bathroom and lets out some ferocious gas. Finds the blind date.

Carrie - Farting makes me uncomfortable. Well made, but comedy isn't your strong point.
D.J. - Shot well, but cheapened it with the farting.
Garry - Comedy is tricky. Despite it being well made the fart took away from it a bit. Not your genre, but you're a good film maker.

I think it looked good, but Claudia absolutely ruined this film with the farting and the weird ending. Lame.

# 11 - Jason - Getta Rhoom
From Kentucky. Feels like the odd man out in LA since he's from the "South." (Is Kentucky really considered a part of the South?)

Synopsis: "Nerdy" guy can't find the appropriate time to say "get a room." Has the comedic timing of a politician.

Carrie - Thought the guy was more mentally challenged than nerdy. Kind of offended. Seemed like so much more than a nerd.
D.J. - Felt there was a special need there so it didn't work for him.
Garry - Film making was good, but he didn't think Jason directed the actor too well. May have been a little politically incorrect.

I didn't even consider the fact that the actor was acting more mentally challenged than nerdy, but going back and looking at it again, I see exactly what the judges were referring to. It's too bad because the concept was sound. Way to offend the nation Jason although I don't think he did so intentionally - and the crowd didn't seem to think so either.

# 12 - David - File Size
Film nerd his entire life.

Synopsis: Guy has trouble pleasing his bosses in the office.

Carrie - Thought it was good. A lot didn't actually happen. Thinks he's a good film maker.
D.J. - Intrigued by the direction. Actor was good. Talent was better than the subject matter he chose.
Garry - Would have liked actors to do more. Very talented.

I thought it was smart of David to take the office life approach since Office Space and The Office resonate so well with the American public. I found his film to be pretty intelligent, but I don't think it spoke to the audience as universally as the aforementioned movie and show. I did appreciate the dry humor and it was one of my favorites of the night.

# 13 - Zach - Danger Zone
Special effects guru and quite possibly a Lego maniac.

Synopsis: Craziness goes down at a laboratory in Rube Goldberg fashion.

Carrie - You're just awesome. To do that in one shot, was amazing. My hat is off to you.
D.J. - Brilliant. In one 360 degree shot you told a story. Brilliant.
Garry - I couldn't do that. It was terrific.

Awesome. I'm a big fan. Sure the robot special effects were a little on the jankie side but who am I to criticize. I can barely take red-eye out of a photo.

# 14 - Trever - A Golf Story
Former actor who has dreamed about being in this industry all of his life.

Synopsis: World Mini-golf Classic. A young cocky rookie tries to dethrone a legendary classic.

Carrie - Well made and beautiful to look at. Didn't get that it was mini-golf.
D.J. - Nice to spoof the sports movie. Didn't get that it was mini-golf.
Garry - Directed the actors great, but we needed to see that it was miniature golf.

The judges didn't like this nearly as much as I did. I laughed my ass off during this one, especially after going back and watching it a few times. The actor who played the cocky golfer did a great job selling the character. When he used the golf club as a cane when he walked up to his elderly competition it absolutely killed me. His expressions while making the putt were funny as well. I didn't really care that mini-golf wasn't spelled out explicitly.

# 15 - Shalini - Love in 2007
Creates films as a reflection of her human rights background.

Synopsis: Finding love using todays fast-paced methods.

Carrie - Ambitious but a teeny bit derivative. Found it to be a success. Happy there was no vomiting, farting, or peeing.
D.J. - Think you have a nice eye. Didn't think the actresses performance was strong enough. Stay focused next time.
Garry - Serious film maker with high aspirations. Went for humor, but not your strong suit.

Sorry, I fell asleep during this one. Only kidding. I think this was cut together pretty well. Liked the cinematography but didn't care too much about the premise. However, I think she's going to do much better in other genres during the competition should she stick around.

# 16 - Phil - Please Hold
Youngest male in the competition at 22 and he's from Manchester. Single parent family. Happy he never took up the crack rock.

Synopsis: Woman wakes up to find her place is being burglarized. Sits on hold forever.

Carrie - It had a terrific look. One of the most distinctive from all the films. It wasn't really funny, but it was not a failure.
D.J. - You have a really good eye, but just felt like the 911 joke was longer than a minute. Bad concept.
Garry - Think you could do better, but you have to tell the story in a minute. Started great, didn't like ending.

I didn't find this particularly funny. I also think he should have ended with a kitchen sink in the middle of the floor instead of a piggy bank. Sure my ending is completely clichéd, but his didn't make any sense. I agree with the judges in that it all flowed together pretty seamlessly from a cinematography standpoint.

# 17 - Shira-Lee - Check Out
Quit her teaching job and flew in from South Africa to make films. (The smartest of the bunch to quit her day job. Teachers don't make jack - albeit having highly rewarding careers.)

Synopsis: Woman has an imaginary fling while making her way through the airport security line.

Carrie - One for the girls! Turned the mundane airport security check into an erotic strip tease. Inspired.
D.J. - There is comedy in pain, and you showed that. Thank you.
Garry - Thank you for finally doing something sexy.

A little risqué, and I liked it! There's definitely not enough sex on this show. Maybe next week we can get a little profanity too. I'm starting to get delirious. How long have I been watching this?

# 18 - Sam - Replication Theory
28. Wants to be a director. (Great intro Sam.)

Synopsis: Focuses on the need to replicate the noise when it sounds like you passed gas, but you really didn't.

Carrie - Thought it was great. You've made farting classy. Fantastically made.
D.J. - Thought it was really well shot. Univeral theme. Ending on a high note.
Garry - Farting not my favorite subject, but you made fancy farting.

Probably the film I laughed at the most tonight. Well shot, great editing, hilarious concept. When I read the title I figured Sam confused this with sci-fi week. Ended up nailing the comedy genre.

Very quickly, below are the judges (and my) favorites for the night:

Carrie - Danger Zone, Lucky Penny, Replication Theory
D.J - Dance Man, Spaced Out, Danger Zone
Garry - Dance Man, Danger Zone, Check Out

I liked - A Golf Story, Replication Theory, Spaced Out

I'm thankful that three of these directors leave us tomorrow. See you then.