Big Brother 8: Episode 2

It would have been much more compelling if the audience was able to choose the actually story Eric would tell to the entire group.

I think the story he tells, particularly if it's extremely sad, is a much more strategic decision to make than the person he decides to tell.

As it stands, Amber taking care of six people seems to hold the title as the most heart-string-tugging story of the household and if Eric were able to somehow top hers, he'd at least have the sympathy-vote thing going for him. It usually proves to be a valuable tool to have in most of these reality shows.

Hopefully we get to pick something of of a bit more import in the coming weeks.

Anyhow, day one arrived with a whimper instead of a bang, and the whimpering came out of Daniele, Dick, and Jen's faces.

Daniele started the episode crying into a tissue citing the fact that her dad was going to make her life miserable.

So far, her dad doesn't seem like such a bad guy. Sure, I found the entire name dropping sequence to be incredibly annoying, but aside from that he hasn't been as overbearing as I expected. I actually felt a little sorry for him when he shed the solitary little tear during his confessional. He also gained major points for promising not to lie, manipulate, and back-stab his daughter throughout the game.

Is it possible Daniele is a bit of a drama queen, or has the true Evil Dick yet to reveal himself? I'm leaning a bit towards the latter, but I have some reservations.

Both of those whimpers were entirely understandable and acceptable. It was Jen's ridiculously vain outburst that had me grinding my teeth in absolute disgust.

Seriously, crying because you don't like your house photo? How self-absorbed can one person be? This sequence may have been the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen on a reality TV show, and this is coming from a guy who watched Temptation Island.

Is it too late to retract my statement from last week calling Jen the most attractive girl on the show? That title actually goes to Kail, who aside from being a rather attractive older woman, has handled herself pretty respectfully in the house thus far.

She seemed to make a pretty intelligent strategic move by working herself into an alliance with Mike, Nick, and Zach. I'm just going to pretend it's a coincidence that she aligned herself with the three most chiseled male bodies in the house. I'm sure her husband is doing the same at home.

Other notable happenings:

Jessica and Carol ostensibly made up from their juvenile rivalry, however they intend to let on to the house that they're still mortal enemies. The two of them believe this act may play to their advantage later in the game. Only time will tell if this actually works out for them.

Also, the two biggest enemies in the house, Joe and Dustin, attempted to have a civilized conversation. Of course, the conversation broke down faster than Joe at a Cher concert and nothing really came out of the talk aside from some hooting, hollering, and hurt feelings.

First Food Competition - Butter Me Up

Blue Team - Amber, Dick, Dustin, Carol, Jen, Mike
Red Team - Joe, Nick, Zach, Daniele, Jameka, Eric, Jessica

Butter Me Up consisted of the Blue and Red Team coating their bodies with butter and rushing themselves over to a bucket of popcorn in an attempt to scrape a higher quantity of butter of their bodies than the other team.

Joe immediately realized that if he was going to be rubbing butter all over Nick's body, then he wouldn't be able to pay as much attention as he needed to the competition. Funny stuff.

Jen also made a big scene by insisting that she didn't want Evil Dick's old man hands feeling her up during the challenge. Her stock goes down a little further every time she opens her mouth.

As usual, the losing team was going to be relegated to consuming Big Brother Slop for an entire week while the winners dine on regular food meant for human consumption.

Mike summed the competition up best when he compared it to a big buttery episode of Baywatch and the producers played along by showing a segment with lots of slow motion running and gratuitous breast bouncing making this portion of the show the best thing I've seen on TV for a while a shameless attempt to draw in more male viewers.

All in all, the Blue team managed to get 37 pounds of butter. The Red team absolutely destroyed them and collected a whopping 77 pounds of butter thanks mostly to the amazing sponge like abilities of the rat nest residing on top of Amber's head.

Nominations

Kail had some difficulty deciding who she was going to put up for nomination, and ended going the easy route and elected the first two people who were eliminated from the HOH contest on Thursday's episode.

Dustin, Jessica, and Dick were safe this week due to the fact that they were the three people ostracized on the first episode.

Eric, Joe, Zach, Daniele, Jen, Mike, Jameka, Nick all received their keys leaving Amber and Carol as the two candidates up for eviction.

Tuesday we'll find out who wins the Power of Veto and ultimately, the first player to get kicked off of Big Brother 8.

Things should start picking up from this point forward.