The Pick-Up Artist hits VH1 Monday
This Monday, August 6 at 9:00 p.m., VH1's new series, The Pick-Up Artist, debuts.
Mystery, reknowned woman picker-upper, is the center of the new reality series. Mystery takes in six dorky guys and tries to transform them into babe magnets. One man is eliminated during each episode, with the champion going home with $50,000.
According to his site, Mystery's method is based on female psychology. As a member of the male gender, I'm forever grateful that all women think and behave exactly the same, because otherwise this would just be some ploy to get lonely guys to give up lots of money. Besides, if you want to spend money to not be lonely, I can recommend a place in Nevada.
The Mystery Method isn't without results, but I imagine women reading about it have the same reaction I do when I read women's magazines telling me how men think: there's always some shred of truth to it, but it's silly to believe people all think the same. One women's mag once informed me that men like to name their penis. I can honestly say I've never done that; I instead name my friends' penises. I'll doff my hat to them as I walk by and say, "Good morning, Steve!," then, bowing a little lower, "and Greg."
Unless, of course, you just want to get laid, in which case I recommend my personal method, which is to announce, loudly, in a crowded room: "I'm going outside to have sex! Who wants to join me?"
That was the best Christmas pageant ever.