On The Lot: Series Finale (2 of 2)
(S01E17) I'm praying that those of us still watching this show witnessed the series finale of On The Lot and not a season finale.
If this show ever gets a second season, I may be forced to boycott all future Burnett and Spielberg productions, and I really want to see the next Survivor and Jurassic Park IV. Well, maybe not so much Jurassic Park IV.
Anyhow, take all the things you disliked about this season and point the world's most powerful electron microscope at them. That's about what these last two episodes have been like.
It's been painful in every nearly respect and I'm glad to finally be put out of my misery.
In all honesty, I'm not even sure how to go about reviewing this episode. Fox probably could have condensed this show into a minute. I can probably condense this review into one word: crap.
Do I care that Will liked Under the Gun, Jason liked Catch, and Adam liked Die Hardly Working?
Frankly? No. I barely cared about the films the three finalists showed. That pretty much ensures I don't care about the films the non-finalists made six to twelve weeks ago.
I also like how Adriana casually dropped the following tidbit around 40 minutes into the episode.
"One, two, or possibly all of you probably have a fairly decent Internet following that used the world wide web to vote for you when one of your films was up. Unfortunately, Internet voting didn't work this weekend so you better pray they liked you enough to call on their phone or payed to text message a vote in for you. Sorry."
Internet voting didn't work on the most important vote night of the season?! The one where Fox/Dreamworks gives 1 Million dollars to an amateur filmmaker, effectively altering the course of their life forever? Is anyone else appalled by this revelation? How did the directors not jump out of their chairs and dropkick Adriana across the stage? I would have been livid!
Anyhow, long story short, Adriana kicked Adam off the lot and it came down to Jason and Will. Some faux tension was built with a commercial break, and Adriana and the 8th and 9th wonders of the world (I do read the comments), came out and announced that Will Bigham was the winner of On The Lot.
There was some applause, Will got into a limousine, and was carted off to see "his new boss" on the Dreamworks studio.
We finally hit paydirt. Spielberg, who I suspected earlier in the season was doing everything in his power to keep his mug off the screen as it pertained to this show, met Will Bigham with open arms and congratulated him for winning the competition.
Spielberg mentioned that Will won out of 12,000 applicants to the show, and he also mentioned that he liked Yes Men, Lucky Penny, and Glass Eye. Spielberg appreciated Will's craft, liked his comic timing, and overall, thought he was a great film maker.
Steven than said, "Welcome to our lot. Let's go in. Here's a key to your office."
The part we didn't see is where Spielberg yanked the key back, called security, and had them forcefully escort Will off of Dreamwork's property.
Spielberg could be heard yelling, "Check out my IMDB page sometime. I've got more talent in my beard than you have in your entire body. America got it wrong."
Zach then pulled up in a second limousine, Spielberg handed him the key to the office, and nudged him toward a treasure chest filled with gold bullion.
Okay, so nothing in the last three paragraphs really happened, but it'd have made for a much more interesting finale, wouldn't it have?
In all seriousness, congratulations to Will Bigham. Of the bunch, he was definitely the most deserving.
Thanks for suffering through the show and reviews with me all season. It's been fun.