America's Next Top Model: The Models Go Green
(S09E02) After 3,400 or so votes in last weeks poll the results are in, and a majority of you think Heather is going to win this competition. Chantal and Lisa were in second and third place respectively followed closely by Victoria in fourth. Sadly, Janet (my pick) is sitting in fifth place.
After watching tonight's episode, I'm willing to let you all change your mind on the whole Heather thing. Don't get me wrong, I think Heather is an attractive girl and she took a stunning photo in tonight's episode. Despite that, do you really see her as a CoverGirl spokeswoman?
Here she is on the balcony looking slightly awkward. It's important to note that her only company is a stuffed monkey. The awkward factor is billion times worse when she's around live, breathing human beings. I might be mistaken, but models are around other people pretty regularly.
Can you really see Heather walking a runway, doing speaking engagements, or nailing a commercial for some new mascara line? Can you see her at charity events, schmoozing at a high profile party, or doing whatever other highly visible tasks a model is required to do on a daily basis? I certainly don't on all of the above.
I guess it's possible that she could blossom into a confident, gregarious contender as the competition moves forward, but in all honesty, I just don't see it happening. It's unfortunate too, because I like a "good underdog prevails against impossible odds" story as much as the next person - the challenge just appears insurmountable in this instance.
Here's to hoping I'm proven wrong.
Anyhow, tonight the girls went green, because green is the new black. To go with this cycles green theme, the girls learned that they'd be transported around town in a 100% biodiesel bus that was replete with earth friendly items like grass and seats made from recycled tires. Sadly, upon entering the bus most of the girls still remained somewhat plastic.
The models were then carted off to their mansion for the next couple of months and they excitedly pranced around the house oooohing and aaaahing at pictures of Jaslene and Tyra strewn throughout the house.
We immediately got to see some of Heather's awkwardness which I ranted about earlier. Most of the girls were still excited about the house and doing silly things like jumping fully clothed into the pool, but Heather was sitting on her bed writing in what looked to be a journal.
To Heather's credit, she did jump into a bathtub with five other girls a bit later which caused me to turn to my wife and say, "Never have I so badly wished to be made of porcelain." She didn't find it amusing either.
This weeks photos were shot by Mike Rosenthal, and the theme revolved around the harm that smoking does to one's body. The girls would be shot in a glamorous pose while wielding a cigarette, then made to appear like they were suffering from some cigarette related affliction. The two images would later be superimposed into a single image that juxtaposed the sexy image smoking portrays against the true dangers smoking really inflicts.
First the green theme, then this. Tyra's really trying to make a difference this cycle, isn't she?
I know this is a very serious subject not to be taken lightly, but I was giggling like a school girl during this entire sequence. Some of the girls looked absolutely hysterical in their after make-up. I took some screencaps of my favorites and put my own special anti-smoking warning beneath.
Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking may cause you to grow a skin mullet.
Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking may cause Nosferatu.
Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking may cause you to get a face tattoo you will really, really regret.
Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking will straight f*ck you up.
What in the holy hell did they do to Mila and what random woodland creature is she holding in her hand? She looks like someone who lived right outside the Chernobyl site. I don't blame her whatsoever for cracking up during her photos. This getup is absolutely ridiculous.
After the shoot Bianca and Lisa got into a verbal spat in which Bianca hit below the belt by saying, "You think America's Next Top Model is going to be a stripper? What a role model!" This caused Lisa to explode because she's pretty self-conscious about her former occupation.
Ultimately, Bianca proved she's smarter than she looks by apologizing to Lisa. Her reason for apologizing? She didn't want her comment to come up during panel. I think this was the first time I've seen someone on this show make a Big Brother like strategic decision to advance further in the game. I was impressed.
Later on in the episode, the girls got to go to Old Navy to choose some basic wardrobe items that they'd wear to panel to try and impress the judges. Their guide through the shopping process was none other than Benny Ninja, who came out looking like he'd been assaulted by a 75% off accessory bin.
One of the girls made a comment about Heather being at a disadvantage during this challenge because she obviously didn't keep up with current fashion trends. This was only one of several catty comments I heard during the show regarding Heather. It's almost like the other girls feel extraordinarily threatened by her, and therefore constantly try and talk her down for their own peace of mind.
Maybe you all are on to something with this whole Heather thing...
Saleisha ended up winning the Old Navy challenge and won a $1,000 shopping spree. We also learned that this will be a no smoking cycle keeping with the whole "Tyra's going to change the world" theme.
The order of the photos:
It came down to Ebony and Mila with Mila eventually being the one who got sent home. She was bound to be the person picked to leave due to the disservice her make-up artist performed on her during the photoshoot. It also might have been due to the vacant expression she had on her face 99% of the time - I can't quite decide. Either way she's gone and I'm not sad.
|Yes - What's being an exotic dancer have to do with anything?||212 (60.7%)|
|No - Exotic dancers are immoral and therefore incapable of winning modeling competitions.||31 (8.9%)|
|Indifferent - Who cares? I'm still laughing about Mila's photoshoot picture.||106 (30.4%)|