(S04E02) Tim Gunn, you lied to us. You told us that this would be the greatest season yet. I have reason to believe you purposely misguided us to
boost ratings. Tim, I thought you were better than this.

I know we're only two episodes into the season, but I'm already bored with everyone. Remember the days of Austin Scarlett or Santino Rice? People that dared to think outside of the box and (occasionally) looked good doing it? Right now we only have Elisa, and her craziness may be more of a handicap than a good thing. I'm bored, Project Runway, and I demand that you entertain me.

The show attempted to spice things up by introducing a super-special guest judge. It turned out to be Sarah Jessica Parker, who is a major upgrade from the last big Project Runway guest, Nicky Hilton. Chris actually started crying when Parker came in, which was precious. The challenge was to create a two-piece look for Bitten, Parker's relatively ho-hum fashion line, with the winning creation being sold as part of the collection. Actually, the real challenge was to create something to retail at $40 with only $15's worth of material. No, wait, the real, real challenge was to work on a two-person team. Yeah, there was a lot going on, but the drama was surprisingly minimal.

Ricky and Jack: Let's take a few more moments to admire that lovely picture of Shocked!Jack. Done? All right. This was the only outfit that I could truly imagine doing well in a store. It was simple, sure, but had enough flair to hold its own and the color was lovely. I am still confused as to why it didn't make it to the top two.

Christian (ALMOST AUF'D) and Carmen: Goodness gracious, has Christian ever seen Project Runway? He was headed for trouble the very second he shrugged off Tim Gunn's advice. I swear, there has been only one documented instance of Gunn's advice being off-mark in the entire history of the show. I know because every time it happens, I get a tally mark tattooed on my face. I really hope that Christian has learned his lesson and will tone down his cockiness. Confidence is wonderful, but if he keeps along the path that he is on now, he's just going to end up looking stupid. That said, the jacket he and Carmen made would have been so lovely if the sleeves were toned down a bit.

Rami and Jillian: This fit the model well and the sketches were pretty nice. Unfortunately, the final product was a bit boring. Not bad, just uninteresting.

Elisa and Sweet P: In my review of last week's episode of Project Runway, I said that Elisa is the new Daniel Franco. I totally take that back and I apologize. No, no. Elisa has somehow managed to transcend Franco's level of creepy. She may not have tried to seduce the guest judge during their one-on-one, but she spit on her fabric instead of using a marker. Now, I would have considered letting this go if she had admitted to being too lazy to reach for a proper piece of chalk or pin or something, but that imbibing the fabric with blah blah blah was ridiculous. I'm starting to wonder if Elisa is just pushing the crazy on purpose so that she can be a memorable character. Maybe if she acts wacky enough, the producers will keep her on and she'll be able to get away with fashion murder. Anyway, back to the garment itself... I'm glad Elisa and Sweet P managed to get along in the end, but I found the final product to be pretty disappointing. The colors and proportions were very strange. The "polymorphic" qualities were quite nice though, so I'll give them that. I suppose when compared to the other garments of the evening, this was good, but if I had seen this in a shop window, I would have walked right past it, stopping maybe only to recover from throwing up in my mouth.

Kit and Chris: Kit and Chris' model was wearing virtually the same ensemble as Rami and Jillian's. If the two of them had shown up to the same party, they would have spent the entire evening awkwardly trying to avoid each other because, honestly, what girl wants to show up to an event looking the same as some other chick? No one, unless the outfit happens to look so outrageously fabulous that it made everyone stop caring. Unfortunately, this garment, just like Ricky and Jack's, was boring. Again, not bad, just uninteresting.

Victorya and Kevin (WINNERS): I don't know if Victorya is a hardcore stoic or what, but could she have been any less excited when Sarah Jessica Parker announced that she was the winner? I mean, do I need to point out Jack's first reaction again? Victorya should have been absolutely thrilled that SJP -- I call her by her initials because we're BFF -- picked her so-so creation to be spread through stores like a mediocre plague.

Marion (AUF'D) and Steven: I always scribble down notes in preparation for episode reviews, and I only had two questions for this outfit. "Was she raised by wolves?" and "Is she a Lost Boy?" This outfit was just unfortunate all around. It was the mix of a burlap sack and ratty sweater, neither of which are particularly appealing to the eye. I don't think we've seen enough of neither Marion nor Steven, so I don't have any negative or positive feelings about Marion's departure. I'm making a Victorya face, is what I'm saying.

Next week's challenge is supposed to be super-stressful. Judging the preview of all the designers ripping up fabric, I'm assuming the next episode has something to do with not using scissors? Maybe they're going to have to do everything by hand, like hand-sew? Or attach things by knots and folds? Origami challenge! That'd be intense.