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August 23, 2014

Nip/Tuck: Chaz Darling

by Jonathan Toomey, posted Nov 28th 2007 8:17AM

John Hensley as Matt McNamara on Nip/Tuck.
(S05E05) "You don't want to play this game with me." - Christian

No you don't. The second Christian said that to Eden, a clock started and all episode long we were waiting for the alarm to go off. What was he going to do to her? For a minute, I honestly thought nothing. He gave her the pills and Eden was on her way, her mouth shut about Christian and Julia's night together. Maybe it was because I watched the episode early this morning and I was still a little drowsy, but I never saw it coming. Well played Dr. Troy.

The funniest thing about all of this? Eden is probably a drug addict anyway! She's one of the shallowest, most self-absorbed, image obsessed characters we've ever met on the show. Add in her giant-nippled BGF (best gay friend) Chaz telling her she needs to lose some weight (what?!) and she's probably been popping diet pills and who knows what else for a while. Of course, Christian knew he had to give her the percocet and the xanax to really sell it to Olivia and Julia.

Speaking of Olivia, I gained a lot more respect for her in this episode. She yelled at Eden when she found out about how her daughter was blackmailing Christian and she supported everything during the intervention. She's not the pushover who sides with her daughter no matter what like I initially thought. If only she knew about that hidden camera in her bedroom.

Eden isn't stupid though. It'll be great to see how she retaliates when she's out of rehab in six weeks. She's the only one saying what everyone else is thinking though (especially Liz): Julia isn't a lesbian.

The dynamic between Sean and Kate was getting a little old and I'm partially glad that they finally hit a rough patch. Honestly, I think I enjoyed it more when they had more interaction on the set Hearts and Scalpels. But now that Sean has finally admitted that he can't shake the image of Kate "unloading" in the hot-tub... well, that's a deal-breaker. Add in his confession that his proposal was based on fear and not love... well, that too. Oh and don't forget Kate's fantasy (seemed like more of a natural attraction) of having sex with a black man. Sounds like this relationship is doomed.

The obvious set-up was that Sean is still in love with Julia and that's exactly what happened. With Eden gone for six weeks, that story might get shelved for a while. However, that doesn't mean there aren't other ways for Sean to find out.

Moving on to Kimber and Matt. Wow. They just keep heading downhill, huh? They're still smoking meth like crazy, the baby is clearly going through some sort of withdrawal from all the smoke. That and she's malnourished. It sounds terrible, but I'm finding the whole situation a little comical. I mean... they really let this happen? Matt's fantasy is a kitchen stocked with baby formula! Don't even get me started on his willingness to star in a gay porn flick for drug money. I think the one thing that worries me is that there won't be any commitment to one side of the story. Will they get better or won't they? I just want to see one side go all the way. So far... drugs: 1, the church: 0.

More thoughts:

  • The safe word is "big-wheel."
  • I've always found the titles of pornos to be funny, but Kimber's #1 best-seller is one of the best ones yet: Plumbers and Dykes.
  • When Kimber said she called the church, did she? Seems like it was more of a lie just to get Matt home. After all, if she called the church, she wouldn't be screwing her dealer as payment... right?

Next week's episode is definitely one to look forward to. Spoofing the already ridiculous Dr. 90210, Christian apparently signed him and Sean up for new a reality show named Plastic Fantastic. Hilarious! It gets even better. Notice who's guest-starring? VH1's New York.

How do you think Sean will find out that Christian slept with Julia?
Christian will tell him.79 (27.2%)
Eden will tell him.59 (20.3%)
Julia will tell him.55 (19.0%)
He'll find out about Eden's hidden camera.97 (33.4%)

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Kronos

At the end of last season I was under the impression that Joely Richardson was only going to have a minor role in the following (this) season due to an illness with one of her children. Apparently not as she's been in every episode since the second one.

I also agree with melissa in regards to Wilbur - last time I saw the kid was when Sean and Christian were appearing in their TV show. Not to mention Sean's youngest, where/who did Julia leave him with? Her mother?

I hope they bring Julia's (Joely's) mother back onto the show - she seemed to enjoy twisting the knife with Julia whenever she could. And whatever happened after Julia killed the plane crash victim she *thought* was her mother? We never really did get much reaction other than "Oh! You're alive!" Or am I just forgetting a chunk of the story arc?

And how long before either Matt or Kimber gets arrested? Neither has cash to bail the other out, so obviously Sean or Christian would get a phone call from jail.

John - noticed Matt's neck as well, but figured it was something meth-related resulting from malnourishment. Maybe herpes related?

November 28 2007 at 5:52 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Kronos's comment
Ashley Boyd

I believe Joely dashed out last season because of her child's illness but im guessing her child is better now. I doubt she would come back unless everything was okay, but am too lazy to search for any proof.

November 29 2007 at 3:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
John Howard

Anyone know what the hell those things are on Matt's neck?

November 28 2007 at 2:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
BC McKinney

"It'll be great to see how she retaliates when she's out of rehab in six weeks."

Rehab is populated by people with unsavory backgrounds and employees who are underpaid for the difficult and sometimes dangerous work they do. It really wouldn't be that hard to arrange for little Regan, er, Eden, to have an "accident." But I doubt Christian is that committed and he's already had his flash of brilliance on this issue.

It really seems unfair that Kimber gets some back door action but she doesn't want Matt to.

November 28 2007 at 1:11 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tool

I really like the Eden plotline, but am completely bored by the Matt/Kimber plotline. Oh, and Sean/Kate? Get a life, Sean, this woman is major league screwed up. Quit being such a pussy.

I thought Eden was going to be totally predictable but the way that Christian retaliated was mart. This show needs more hot women, after all that was part of the original lure of the show. Eden is super hot and wicked, so I think it will make this season interesting.

Next week's reality show could be really cool or really, really stupid. We shall see.

November 28 2007 at 10:15 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jim

> You watched "Queer Eye" Jim?

I saw a few episodes at the height of its popularity. I learned not to shave on the upstroke.

> How come you're always so piping annoyed with my posts?

Your Damages reviews aside, your posts don't always annoy me. I was just surprised there was no mention of Bo Duke. Great casting!

November 28 2007 at 10:05 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jonathan Toomey

You watched "Queer Eye" Jim? That's too bad... I didn't think mentioning Jai was worth it. You're right about Schneider though. Bo always deserves a nod.

How come you're always so piping annoyed with my posts? If my writing isn't your bag, you don't have to read it :)

November 28 2007 at 9:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Mel

I realize it's a major story arch but I cannot believe we are back here AGAIN with the C-S-J love triangle. I just don't think there is any chemistrty between Chris & Julia and how many times are she and sean going to break up and get back together.

Where is Wilbur? he wasn't even home when Christian got there and I didn't see a nanny?

November 28 2007 at 9:29 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Mel's comment
John Howard

I agree, I'm tired of the love triangle. It was hard enough to believe that these two guys are so desperately in love with such an unattractive woman in the first place. I was hoping this season we wouldn't have to continue to pretend it was possible.

November 28 2007 at 2:55 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Jim

No shout-outs for the guest stars: Jai from Queer Eye and John Schneider from Dukes of Hazzard? Come on, Toomey!

November 28 2007 at 9:25 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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