America's Next Top Model: The Girls Go On Go-See Adventures

(S09E11) I don't even feel like it's a modeling competition anymore. I feel like it's a personality competition and that pisses me off cause it's like, I'm killing it. - Jenah

Has Jenah been popping obnoxious pills when the cameras aren't filming? Have countless days without nicotine finally gotten the best of her brain? Where did this cocky little person come from? I'm really not sure, but I do know she not acting like the same relatively well-mannered girl I came to know and love this cycle and that's a real shame because she was a shoe in to make it to the finals of this thing.

Her interaction with Nigel was irritating, her quote from above was grating, and her comment later in the show about how well she would do if she had Heather's dress made me want to strangle her.

What's the deal with my Top Model picks anyways? I was wrong with Renee last season and I was way off the mark with mama Janet this season. Now it looks as though my secondary pick for cycle 9 is going to sabotage herself in the home stretch.

I've finally come to realize that I couldn't pick the winner of this show if she came up to me, punched me square in my boys, and said "I'm the winner of America's Next Top Model!" I'm really terrible at this.

Does that mean I'm going to stop guessing the winner whenever a cycle begins? Not a chance, but I am going to stop picking the girl that I would most like to make out with (should my wife be agreeable) and go with something a bit more scientific. That's right. I'm letting my toddler pick a name out of a hat when cycle 10 rolls around. It couldn't be any worse than what I'm doing now.

It was Go-See time tonight on Top Model and while this episode is never quite as good as the makeover show, the CoverGirl commercial, or the prized nude shoot, it's usually a pretty entertaining affair.



Tonight the girls had six hours to make their way around the streets of Shanghai to meet with various members of the Chinese designing community. As usual, they were attempting to make a good impression in the hopes that they'd be booked for a photo shoot or better yet, a runway show.

It was pretty interesting to hearing designers assessments of the girls

Lu Kum:

• Found Saleisha's to be a very pretty girl, but a bit on the dull side.
• Thought that Chantal needed to wear some skin toned underwear. (Didn't J. Alexander say that at the beginning of the season?)
• Thought that Jenah looked like Christy Turlington. (I personally don't see the resemblance. Do you? Could it be because Jenah looks like Poison Ivy from that crappy Batman movie, and Christy Turlington looks like Jenny from the Block? Could they have chosen a stranger comparison shot?)

Stephen Peng:

• Thought Bianca had good character and was very tall and friendly. (I'll give him 2 out of those 3)

Flora Zeta:

• Would book Chantal perfect for print work but not so much for the catwalk.
• Loved Heather's look but thought her runway walk needed some work.
• Flat out told Jenah that her walk was terrible. She also thought Jenah had a different kind of personality that needed some work. (I'm guessing "different" was a euphemism for "sh*tty" in that sentence.)
  

Helen Lee:

• Thought Saleisha was very nice and already wanted to book her as a model for next show.
  

A couple of interesting points during the Go-See. I loved it when Bianca asked Saleisha if Helen Lee's place was very far away and Saleisha coyly said she didn't know. How sweet was the look on Bianca's face when she found out Helen Lee was on the next floor of the same building?

I also found it incredibly amusing watching Chantal criticize Saleisha for being way to complimentary and brown-nosy to the designers, and then pulling the exact same moves when she got in with the same designers. I bet she cringed watching that sequence play out on the television while watching at home.

Finally, there was Heather.


We were a long ways into the competition and Heather still hadn't made it to a single Go-See because she seems to lack any sense of direction. She walked around dazed and confused for I don't know how long, and only managed to make it to one designer over the course of the entire six hours. I don't think Heather can blame this one on her Asperger's Syndrome. I think her inner compass is busted.

Here were the arrival times for the Go-See challenge:

Saleisha - 15 minutes early
Bianca - 5 minutes early
Jenah - Disqualified - 15 minutes late
Chantal - Disqualified 20 minutes late
Heather - Disqualified - Still on the streets of Shanghai searching for the agency.

I was shocked that three of the five girls were disqualified from the competition. That's completely unacceptable if you ask me. I realize the girls were in a totally foreign city, but how in the world could they bear to drop the ball during a competition of this magnitude? It just seemed like they should have alloted at least an hour and a half to make their way back to the agency just to be on the safe side. Well, everyone except for Heather. She'd have been better off never leaving the agency in the first place.

Bianca ended up booking the most shoots and received the highest accolades from the designers. As a result, she won a spot in the 2008 Beijing Olympic advertising campaign which is kind of a big deal.



In tonight's photoshoot, the girls found themselves trying their best to stand out against a busy backdrop. Nigel Barker was the photographer. I don't really have anything else interesting to say about the photoshoot so I'll just stick up this picture because I captured it and don't really have anywhere to put it.



That is one giant afro. I wonder if he has to walk sideways to get through doors? Does he have to put on his shirt like a pair of pants? If King Kong used Q-tips is this what they'd look like? I have more, but this is getting to be too long...

The order of the photos:

Saleisha
Bianca
Chantal

That left Heather and Jenah. I was torn. On one hand, I had my secondary pick for the winner of cycle 9 - a girl who has taken gorgeous photos all season but who showed an unpleasant side tonight that really turned me off.

On the other hand, I had the underdog who has grown on me like no other contestant in Top Model history despite the fact that deep down I don't think she was cut out to be a model. She took amazing photos though, so who am I to judge.

Anyhow, Heather ended up going home tonight and a huge part of me has a problem with the judges decision. Strangely, I probably would have felt the same way had they sent home Jenah.

Oh well, that's what I get for getting to attached to reality show contestants. Bye Heather. It was fun rooting for you while it lasted.

For some reason America's Next Top Model is being preempted by Big 12 basketball in my part of the country next week. The show isn't set to air here until December 8th. This pisses me immensely. Despite that, there will probably still be a review up next week, only it may not be me writing it. Just a heads up.

The gallery will be updated as soon as the new pics make it online.

Update: The gallery is updated.