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October 7, 2015

Ugly Betty: Bananas for Betty

by Erin Martell, posted Dec 7th 2007 12:01AM

Alec Mapa, Betty White, and Vanessa Williams

(S02E10) Even with her Mode days behind her, Wilhelmina had another Betty to contend with. The fabulous Betty White was on hand to take advantage of Wili's bad PR and contempt for the elderly. There were no St. Olaf stories, but it was still one of the funnest Ugly Betty episodes I've seen in a while! I mean, come on--Betty White and a paintball war? It's like Christmas came early!

Leave it to Wili to piss off a Golden Girl. Who will she alienate next--one of the Designing Women? Actually, a showdown between Dixie Carter and Vanessa Williams might make for good TV. I loved that the Ugly Betty world was filled with people who loved Betty White (even Marc!). I like to imagine that's what Betty White's real life is like, minus the broken hand. With the swing of a door, Wili ruined her plans to launch Slater magazine. I'm still waiting for Wili to make her way to back to Mode somehow, even if only for Marc's sake. In the meantime, Alexis will be taking Wili's place as the office villain.

It had to happen sometime. The famous Meade sibling rivalry put Daniel and Alexis on opposite sides again. Thanks to Bradford's techno-incompetence (couldn't he have had someone operate the camera for him?), the fight for control of Meade Publications was settled by a paintball war. And what a glorious war it was! The gullible softie in me wanted to believe that Alexis would accept Daniel's offer to share the company. Naturally, both Daniel and I were mistaken. Alexis' competitive streak came out once more, and she shot her brother during a fake hug.

Amanda and Nick made an unlikely love connection during the war, although it was mostly based on mutual hatred. How long will this bizarre romance last? Amanda probably needs someone to get her through these lonely, Marc-free days, but still. I'd rather see her being catty with Marc than making out with Nick Pepper. I was glad that Halston's still in Amanda's life, though. That paper clip sweater was priceless.

Is it just me, or did Gio just get considerably hotter? His speech about couples making the most of their time together got both Hilda and Betty's attention. As the only currently single woman, Hilda got the first shot at the passionate sandwich maker. At least she didn't get her hopes up too high before she realized that Gio had his eye on Betty. I know that Gio has been intended as a love interest for Betty all along, but I thought he had a lot more chemistry with Hilda at first. It's clear that Gio isn't the type to pine away for someone just because she's spoken for. How long before he makes a move on "The Eater"?

"Egg Salad" might have a little something to say about that. Things were looking bad for Henry and Betty this week, but they avoided a messy break-up (thanks to Henry's smoking hot bod and adorable dance moves). I really thought that Betty was going to have another Walter moment where she tried to make her boyfriend something he's not. I was having flashes of the hotel restaurant blow-up. Thankfully, Betty has matured since then, and apologized to Henry. Betty's side was understandable, though--Sundae Saturday is a cute idea, but did they have to do it every week? In the next few months, I hope those two find a healthy balance between ice cream mishaps and a dull routine.

So, Wili's Plan B involved Bradford's frozen sperm. Gross. And kind of lame! Can't she come up with a more evil scheme than impregnating herself with the next Meade heir? What will that plan do for her in the here and now? Slater is kaput, and she was just forced out of Mode--Wili's got to have something else up her sleeve. As a die hard Betty fan, I'm willing to see where this leads, but I don't want to watch Wilhelmina twiddle her thumbs for the next nine months. She has to find another way to get back in the game. If anyone can do it, she can!

My favorite lines of the night:

  • "Wear socks, 'cause they're gonna get knocked off." --Henry, preparing Betty for their date
  • "The goal is to make me look five years younger than I say I am. Be prepared to work through lunch." --Wili, to the staff of Slater
  • "It's like Eleanor Roosevelt has come back to life...as a woman." --Suzuki St. Pierre
  • "The bulls are giving me a wider berth." --Claire, on the benefits of being an escapee in prison
  • "She's Alexis. Big as Texas. She knows what it's like to be both sexes." --Kenny
  • "It was an Anna Sui. I know I should feel something, but I feel nothing. War has changed me." --Amanda
  • "I love 'em. Except for the few sickos who write lesbian fan fiction about me and Bea Arthur." --Betty White, on her fans

Next week--a re-airing of "Family/Affair."

Which Ugly Betty couple is currently your favorite?
Betty and Henry141 (28.5%)
Hilda and Gio22 (4.4%)
Betty and Gio159 (32.1%)
Amanda and The Pep31 (6.3%)
Marc and Cliff113 (22.8%)
Wili and Bradford's frozen sperm29 (5.9%)

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Does anyone know how old Wili's supposed to be on this show? I know in real life, Vanessa Williams is only in her mid-40s, but I get the impression that Wili's supposed to be much older. Wouldn't it be pretty darn difficult (if not impossible) to get p.g. at that age? I know, I know it's TV, but still.

I love Gio. I've never been that into the Henry/Betty relationship. I still have high hopes for an eventual Daniel/Betty, but Gio is definitely good for her (and for those of us watching. Rowr.)

December 08 2007 at 8:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Was anyone else pissed off by the ham-fisted product placement for "27 Dresses" and the annoying mascara wipe to commercial without a fade to black first?
I'm sure that advertisers love the continuing imposition of ads over and into our favorite shows, but seriously -- it is rapidly reaching the point where I would rather not watch a show in broadcast television because the ads are IN the shows now.

December 08 2007 at 12:37 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Betty White vs. Wili. Gio back on the scene. So far, so good.

As far as the paintball war, well, yeah, it was kinda lame, except for Amanda's great one liners.

Henry's like something from a dull '60s sitcom. Think My Three Sons. Or maybe Darin from Bewitched, but without Samantha. He and Betty together are about as interesting, or funny, as a bowl of rolled oats.

December 08 2007 at 12:30 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Call me an old poop (or don't, because that would be rude), but I found the paint ball fight just plain lame and dumb. This once-terrific series continues to flail about wildy, its original laser-sharp focus on New York's loopy fashion industry blurred by stunt casting and wildy improbable plot shifts. And don't get me started on Henry as romantic lead. Snooooore. No wonder audience levels are dropping.

Thank heavens for great characters like Wili, Marc and Amanda.. otherwise, I'd be tempted to tune out. But as long as Vanessa Williams hangs in there, so will I: her terrific comedic skills have been a real treat.

December 07 2007 at 10:30 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Actually the line was ""I love 'em. Except for the few sickos who write lesbian fan fiction about me and Blanche" (As in Blanche Devereaux the "randy" Golden Girl)
Though I have to admit Betty White and Bea Arthur would be funnier...yikes! I am sure they are lovely women but lookers they are not!

December 07 2007 at 4:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Kathleen Harris

First thing i thought when Wili brought out that bottle of sperm is #1, doesn't the sperm have to be stored someplace like sperm bank to be viable. #2, the old man probably had a vascetomy years ago.

Oops no swimmers!

December 07 2007 at 2:15 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

i am with you on Gio getting suddenly hotter this ep. i looked at him a different way last night. oh, and does anyone else notice a pattern with the St.s on Ugly Betty? First Marc St. James, then Cliff St. Paul, now Suzuki St. Pierre... You know how i know your gay?

December 07 2007 at 11:33 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Nah, the best line was Marc's regarding how Britney Spears gets press --Shave something, or show something or show something shaven.

December 07 2007 at 10:40 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

It was a great episode, but the best part for me had to be the line about the lesbian fan fiction of Betty and Bea Arthur - hysterical!

December 07 2007 at 9:56 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

I have to admit, this episode didn't really hold my interest. Betty White stunt casting has already been done before on Boston Legal to better effect. She goes on shows to contradict the sweet old lady image she forged on Golden Girls. It's sorta getting old (no pun intended). Also, I am tired of love triangles; especially ones when I don't really care about the outcome. Mark just doesn't do it for me as a love interest for Betty. His character is almost too nerdy. And Gio is hardly the one to really make a run for Betty. I think the writers are starting to figure this out since he has not really appeared in many episodes since his debut. And the Plan B sperm? Just plain dumb. I doubt Willi will wait a year. Plus, I don't think a judge would let the baby take over a company when two capable heirs are already in place. Plus, Plus, there's a video will that addressed to the two Meade heirs anyway. So even if Bradford didn't name an heir between the two, a lawyer could argue Bradford's intent was to at the very least name one of them the heir. Not a baby from a woman he never married. Plusx3, it's a stupid storyline.

December 07 2007 at 2:48 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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