FOX announces Idol sponsors like it's the Super Bowl or something

by Jason Hughes, posted Jan 14th 2008 3:19PM
Coca-Cola Polar BearI get that American Idol is the biggest thing on television besides the Super Bowl, but do people really get that excited about who's going to sponsor the show? Apparently someone does because FOX sent out a press release today, with great fanfare and a ticker-tape parade with Ryan Seacrest as Grand Marshall decked out in a blue and white sequined tux complete with top hat and a monkey on his shoulder, that Ford, Coca-Cola and AT&T would be the official sponsors of Idol this year.

What does this mean for you, the viewer? It means more retarded Ford commercials. It means more awkward Coca-Cola "moments" where Ryan asks a contestant a random, generic question and gets a confused and empty answer. And it means Ryan will get to say the words AT&T twelve times per contestant as he gives out their phone and text numbers.

What would be awesome is if while the contestants are sitting in the red room yakking it up with Ryan, one of the Coca-Cola polar bears comes sauntering in, eyeing the frosty bottle of Coke sitting next to Ryan. They do that adorable little growl of theirs and stand up on their hind legs to their full eight to ten foot height ... and proceed to start tearing up the set, mauling contestants left and right until Dr. Phil can get there to save the day.

"Now look here, Mr. Polar Bear, okay? What you need to do ... okay ... is realize that you have a problem. You do! Okay, see how you killed all these people, Mr. Bully Bear. You need to take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself 'Why?' ... Okay ... 'Why am I mauling these good people over a soda. I mean ... I mean, look at you. Have you seen my weight loss book? You're clearly carrying a little extra weight around the middle. You need to be honest with yourself--" at which point the polar bear swats him across the stage.

Simon: "I think that may be the best performance of the night."

Randy: "I'm not telling a polar bear he wasn't good."

Paula: "There's a polar bear? Where?"

Simon: "Well, it's not inside your glass of ... water, Paula."

Paula: "Up yours, Simon. Wait, there is something in here. What's a worm doing at the bottom of my glass of ... *urp* Never mind. Heehee."

Randy: "Has anybody seen Ryan? Ryan, are you up there, dawg?"

Ryan (faint): "Is that you, Randy? It's so dark, what happened?"

Randy (standing up): "I think he's under the bear. Ryan, do you see a Coke bottle. He should go away if you give it to him."

Ryan (faint): "I don't see any-- Wait, he's moving me-- ooooaaaahhhhwwww! ... I think I just found the bottle."

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Couldn't help but notice the AT&T ad under this post.

"Kettle, this is The Pot. You're black."

January 14 2008 at 11:24 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Companies sent out press releases about all kinds of crazy things. TV Squad is the one that decided it was worth a story.

Slow news day I guess?!?!?

January 14 2008 at 7:40 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

So... where's the link to the story you're blogging about?

January 14 2008 at 3:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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