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Super Skank Wednesday: Thorny roses and the return of Flavor of Love - VIDEO

by Kristin Sample, posted Feb 6th 2008 11:35AM
Flavor of LoveWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York (or whatever show Tiffany Pollard is making next), The Surreal Life and Charm School. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump I have the following: Every Rose Has its Thorn: The Thorny Roses from Rock of Love 2, Flavor of Love 3 Casting Special, and Life Lessons from the Bad Girls Club. (At the suggestion of a reader, I checked it out and...Oh...My...God.)

Much to my chagrin, this past Sunday Rock of Love 2 was not on (stupid Super Bowl!). Alas, I had to be content with Masterpiece Theatre's Miss Austen Regrets. Just kidding! Well, not entirely, I taped Masterpiece and watched Celebrity Rehab reruns.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn: The Thorny Roses of Rock of Love 2.

Let's begin by exploring one of the greatest lines in music history, "Every rose has its thorn." This line, one of my two personal mantras, shows people that Bret transcends the usual rock star. He is indeed a poet. Now, let's see how much fun we can have applying this philosophy to the thorny roses of Rock of Love 2...

Rose: She looks like a porn star, a look Bret seems to gravitate towards.
Thorn: She probably once was a porn star.

Rose: She's Bret's "Urkranian love tank."
Thorn: The operative word there is "tank" unfortunately.

Rose: She's sweet, mothering, and seems pretty honest so far.
Thorn: She has a mullet.

Rose: She's hands-down one of the best looking girls on the show. I believe she's even a Playboy spokesperson.
Thorn: She's a serial reality star. She was on Beauty and the Geek.

Rose: She's probably easy. Bret won't have to work to hard in the charm or dialogue department with this one before she hops into bed.
Thorn: Where do I even begin?

Flavor of Love 3 Casting Special

And now some initial thoughts on Flavor of Love 3. The show that started it all (a true pioneer in skanky television) is returning next Monday for a third season. I have two words for this. Yeah Boyeee! Check out this trailer...

This past Monday, VH1 aired the Flavor of Love 3 Casting Special hosted by the man himself and Saaphyri (you may remember her from season 1 and from Charm School). As stated so eloquently by Saaphyri, Flav is looking for the perfect combination of sassiness, classiness and assiness.

I have a few favorites. Sorry for the lack of names. It's not like American Idol where you get a sweet backstory. If you have others to share, please leave them in the comments.

  • The girl who said the bible was her "information book" and then told the casting directors that her most embarrassing moment was when she walked in on her mom "gittin' it."
  • The girl from the goat farm who said, "you see the trailer rockin', don't come a-knockin'"
  • The tanorexic girl who didn't look tan at all...she just looked like she spread some dirt all over her face.

Life Lessons

Jennavescia And now, a life lesson from Oxygen's The Bad Girls Club. I haven't seen the whole season but I did catch about four in a row this past week. Those chicks are capital G, Gross. However, I didn't walk away from the Bad Girls mini-marathon without a key life lesson. Here it is...

When one needs to urinate, using a kitchen sink or a guy's mouth is acceptable. In fact, such alternative places to relieve oneself are not only socially acceptable but also entertaining to those around oneself.

Jennavescia, in an act of revenge, peed in the kitchen sink (at least twice in the mini-marathon) to get back at the Hyena Sisters led by Tanisha. What did Tanisha do that warranted such skankastic behavior? They asked the Party Girls to help keep the house clean. "NO, I will NOT keep the house clean. In fact, I'll go make a pee-pee in the sink. How do ya like dem apples?" (She didn't really say that.)

Jennavescia also attempted to pee in a guy's mouth. While this was an unsuccessful urination, she did stand over the guy's head half nude, chugging a can of beer. Now, that's classy with K!

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Akbar Fazil

Well, Angelique has already "ended her tour" so we won't have to worry about her at all.

February 06 2008 at 1:35 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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