Big Brother 9: live feeds report - Feb. 13

Ah, it's another season of Big Brother -- another season of backstabbing, lying, and drama for the houseguests! And, but of course, another season of hamster drama for us.

Since this is the first live feeds report of the season, I feel obligated to mention that if you're not into show spoilers, these reports might not be your cuppa tea. The cameras are in the house 24/7 recording fodder for the show and providing entertainment for us. With the exception of live eviction shows, much of what you see on the show is a day or more behind the actual happenings.

Right now, I know which couple was evicted because it has already happened. Don't you want to know? I also know how well the soulmate couples are doing together. Will it be my own dirty little secret or will you read on past the jump? Beware -- spoilers ahead!

Now, mind you, when the feeds came on last night a bit after midnight (ET), I witnessed the biggest mess ever in my feed-watching life. I've had the live feeds since the first season and I've never been thrown into such a brouhaha when they've gone live.

The hamsters are all fighting! I don't think any of the couples really like each other at all with the possible exception of Joshuah and Neil. Big Brother had fed them wine and beer and, as usual, some were drunk before the feeds came on. True, no one was driving around the house. But I'm sure it contributed to the tension.

Which couple is history? Not too much of a shocker, it's the ex-couple Jacob and Sharon who were evicted. I'm not sure how it went down, but it's most likely because they were the most miserable of the many miserable forced 'Til Death Do Us Part couplings.

Remember the big twist on the show? I'm talking about Ryan and Jen being a present day couple outside of the house and secretly working together in the house. Forget that!

From what I gather, Jen told Parker that she and Ryan are a couple. I'm not sure how it zipped through the grapevine from there, but the entire house knows now. Ryan is all ticked off at Parker because he thinks Parker is "disrespecting" Jen, his woman. Parker is all bent out of shape at Big Brother for ruining his chances on the show and setting him up for failure.

The early (and foolish) revelation of the real-life coupling has thrown early alliances into a tizzy. The house is basically split into two alliances -- separating Jen and Ryan even further apart.

Parker, when he's not wanting to go home, wants Ryan out. Ryan wants Parker gone, but he doesn't really want that as that would mean Jen is history, too. It's a huge ball of confusion, I say.

How about that slick Matt and his bikini barista Natalie, the woman he was thrilled with as a soulmate? Not so much now five days in. She's driving him crazy. He doesn't want her to touch him and he'd rather flirt with every other girl in the house.

Here are some other happenings and/or personal observations from last night's live feeds:

• Amanda and Alex are the Head of House couple.
• The Power of Veto has not been played out yet.
• I find Amanda annoying as she cartwheels around the yard, poses, talks about it being "good television," and seems to have a finger in every pie. She seems to be Parker's main advocate.
• Parker is really kind of explosive and tries to ruffle people's feathers. He's not quite the same "angry black man" as Will Mega was in the first season, but he's not a happy camper and blames Big Brother.
• Parker has an array of unusual hats.
• Jen ain't too bright. It dawned on her last night why she should have kept her relationship with Ryan a secret. D'oh!
• The others think Parker will throw comps ... probably because Parker has said he might/will do so.
• If the couples don't agree on an eviction vote, they could face a penalty nomination for eviction themselves.
• Parker and Jen apologized to each other, but that doesn't mean they like being together. Parker thinks Jen will choose her boyfriend over their alliance.
  
• Natalie whined that Matt doesn't want to cuddle with her. Meanwhile, Matt told the others he hates Natalie.
• Gay Neil wanted to see all the girls' boobs. Really. I wouldn't lie!
• Ryan and Parker sort of mended fences. Kind of. I don't think it will last because Ryan is very possessive of Jen even though Parker basically wants little to do with Jen.
• Allison got drunk and cried. Sheila comforted her. Yes, in an almost motherly kind of way.
• Amanda is worried that none of the girls like her, yet Alex is definitely interested. He wants to spoon and smooch ... and probably more.
• The guinea pigs get along better than the other couples in the house.

As I get this posted, all of the houseguests are asleep with Ryan snoring particularly loudly. I think that Parker has a point -- even if they get rid of Ryan and Allison, he's doomed because he would have to sink or swim with Jen and no one wants her to win because of the exposed twist.

The moral of the story? Don't expose your twist at the beginning of the season, you twits!