(S05E13) "Wait... you met your father?" - Matt

This is the way I remember Nip/Tuck. Hands down, best episode of the season right here. Controversial, all the main characters played a big role, and best of all? It was funny! The one thing that depressed me was the very end. Why? Because of that ridiculous "future" episode from last season, we know Julia can't die.

Gallery: Nip/Tuck - Season Five

Perhaps it makes me a terrible person, but it sure was fun to watch her suffer. She's just so whiny. You wonder where Matt gets his neediness from? Take one look at his mother.

You've got to hand it to Christian though. He can't just break up with Julia. He has to invite her over for lunch to make sure she sees him screwing another woman "he picked up at the gas station." What an ass. Here's the thing though. Julia acted appalled! How is something like this unexpected? This is the type of cold hearted stuff that he's known for pulling. Couple that in with Julia's discovery of the source of her illness, and she didn't exactly have the greatest day. Eden had been poisoning her with mercury. Julia found out... Eden shot her with Julia's own gun. End of episode and what an ending it was. Eden is clearly nuts and this episode proved it. From sex crazed, plaid skirt wearing school girl, to raunchy porn star/wannabe murderer, Eden is definitely one of the better characters this show has introduced.

And speaking of new characters, how about Emmy? All I could do was cheer Matt on once it fell apart with him and Rachel. He hopped in the sack with Emmy right away and for once, it seemed like he might have actually found himself a normal relationship. How could I have assumed that after the giant clue from the "previously on" scenes? It showed clips of every crazy b*tch he's ever been with -- Eva, Cherry, Ariel, and Kimber. Add in Rachel too. He's doomed and Emmy was no exception. How did she find Christian as an option for her plastic surgeon? Emmy's the result of a one night stand Christian had many years ago in Cleveland, Georgia. All I can say is "wow." Honestly, really great twist. Christian is her father and she's sleeping with Matt. In true Nip/Tuck fashion, they're justifying the incest because... hey, the sex was really good. Transvestites, white supremacists, ex-porn stars, severe burn victims, and now half-siblings. Who hasn't Matt slept with?

Moving on to Sean, I really liked the plot with him and August Walden, the TV reviewer from Entertainment Weekly. The whole ordeal sort of re-positioned Sean as the caring and understanding guy that he used to be before he got consumed by Hollywood. While it was a little corny, the ending was expected when the victim of one of Walden's scathing reviews poured boiling coffee all over his face. I was surprised that no one had attacked him sooner. For a while, it even crossed my mind that Sean might try and "accidentally" mess something up during Walden's extensive surgery as a bit of payback. No such luck though.

More thoughts...

• Where had Olivia been? How could she have not known that Julia was having an affair with Christian?
• I sort of hope that Emmy turns out not to be Christian's daughter. Matt could use some good news.
• Is it to be expected that so many doctors misdiagnosed Julia? None of them had hair or blood or urine samples analyzed for any sort of toxins? I'm sure some liberties were taken, but if it's even remotely close to that... I hope I never get mercury poisoning.
• You could have played a drinking game with this episode. Every time someone said "ugly," take a gulp.

So next week is the seasons finale (officially) and it'll be interesting to see if it ends with a decent twist or cliffhanger, since it wasn't the intended bookend. However, it looks like the final eight season five episodes (whenever they get shot) will end up being a new sixth season as I predicted would happen long ago. The big question? Will this count towards the three season renewal that Nip/Tuck earned a year ago, or does this mean we get eight seasons now?